@panootsart.bsky.social By delving into the Chuck E Cheese wiki the seal has been broken. The dastardly rat is free.

I went back. She took her top off and made me uncomfortable. She has absolutely ruined carbon monoxide for me.

Crab Creatures@crabcreatures.bsky.social · last wk.

I was exposed to tremendous amounts of carbon monoxide and it allowed me to commune with the witch. Big fan of carbon monoxide.

I was exposed to tremendous amounts of carbon monoxide and it allowed me to commune with the witch. Big fan of carbon monoxide.

I have obtained this rare Peruvian Gore Wyrm. Her name is Isabelle and she screams whenever I read the holy bible aloud 💕

I have some sad news regarding my son, Pud. He got that dog in him. Please keep him in your prayers.

After many years, my worm on a string has returned. He has grown. He has shed the string that shackled him. I fear he will slay me in my sleep.

This is my new dog, Toby. I think he’s some kind of Greyhound or Whippet. Exceptionally stupid creature. Hate him.

I caught Philippe playing with his silly strings. The authorities want to take away Philippe’s silly strings. God forbid Philippe enjoys himself.

@panootsart.bsky.social come get your damn bird.

Hi everyone, I’ve got some sad news. The Fworm is back. Best of luck to all of you.

My homunculus, Oscar, has successfully finished his incubation. Sometimes I shake his jar really aggressively, positively rattling him. He absolutely hates it. Please congratulate Oscar.

I watched Mabel consume three entire ant colonies today. Hundreds of thousands of lives, extinguished in mere moments. A slaughter of monstrous proportions. Pretty cool, Mabel!

This is my lovely daughter, Courtney. The worms have spread to her heart and the doctor says she can’t eat toads anymore. Unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to stop her.

@panootsart.bsky.social Yobi has illegally entered my home every night this week. He keeps leaving me spelling puzzles and he scares the shit out of my dog.

This is my new exotic Pitbull. I believe he is a 2 X Pimpy and 3 X Bape mix. He ate a big bag of onions so he has a tummy ache.

A big thank you to the Make A Wish Foundation. Pigler used his wish to make David Attenborough watch as he threw a bunch of plastic bags in the ocean. Pigler isn’t even dying, he’s just a stupid pig.

I have trapped the essence of this large British man in an orb of sorts. Repeat the words “oh large British man, grant me your boon”, and you might receive his blessing. But beware, for he is fickle, and may bestow a curse.

The vile wizard turned me in to a creature of sorts. As grim as it might appear, I so enjoy retracting into my flesh shell. Feeling positive!

No one knows how to have fun quite like Stephon. He has incurred significant liver damage due to years of substance abuse and his quality of life is irreparably diminished. Keep it up, Stephon!

I am giving away my Persian Hooded Corpse Worm. He needs to eat three bags of premium mulch every day and I just can’t afford it anymore. Please help him find a good home.

Today is Sophie’s birthday. We invited all her friends and grilled hamburgers but no one turned up. Even her favourite cigarettes can’t cheer her up.

Miguel, I’m sorry I hit you in the head with that hammer. I don’t know why I did it. I really care about you. Please come home.

Took Wesley to the pond today. The little scamp was so excited, he threw up twice.

Biggly smashed all the stray cats in the alley, causing the rat population to grow uncontrollably. So begins our joint business venture as rat milkers.

Brian kept saying “I am walking over here” in an unacceptable Italian-American accent, so I cast the fungus spell on him. The fungus spell is quickly becoming one of my top 5 spells.

Sticky lost my rarest, most valuable toad, the elusive Rhodesian Blue Foot. Naturally, he will be spending the next 13 months in The Circle of Torment. If you are interested in becoming my new Toad Keeper, please submit your toad portfolio below.

Annabelle more than doubled her milk quota. In order to prevent wastage, each of my followers may take one large sip from the communal milk through. You cannot refuse the sip.

Visited g-paw at the old folks home. He says the staff aren’t feeding him. Maybe if he didn’t tell so many lies, he would be in this facility in the first place. Disgusting old coot.

I caught Hogly doing what the youths describe as the “Fent Lean”. I don’t know what that means but I hit him with a stick anyway. I am sick of these children and their new trends.

I must have whipped about 9 of these things to death with my belt just this morning. They weren’t bothering me but they are probably evil because I currently do not feel any remorse.