I considered working for the US Postal Service, but it's intimidating because it's such a mail-dominated industry.

My nephew wanted Checkers. Later, while He was eating, he showed me his Crocodile Fry I was VERY amused

If humans take selfies, does that mean that turtles would take shelfies?

I saw this art piece by timbiohacker (on Insta) and thought it had a really powerful message. In a digital world where our lives are being tracked, privacy has become a privilege. They are farmers and we are the harvest. So, where do we go from here?

My Pocket Taco only has 1 button 🤷🏻

X is filled with hate and Bluesky is filled with superiority

This is why people are leaving BS. People are so quick to pass judgement & enter a moral high ground. People choosing to go back to Musk's hellhole X because they feel less scolded is CRAZY! Come on, y'all. What are we doing? Also, please don't ever associate me with fucking MAGA 🤮1/2

I was just informed that today is National Nude Day. So I figure the best way to celebrate this is to make a thread of Tits, and facts about them. 👇🏻

"People will lie with their mouths and tell the truth with their wallets" - Louis Rossman

What video game's final boss is this?

"Sony didn't even wipe their ass before they licked it" - Ed "the cunt" McGillicuddy

I'm just an Idgie searching for my Ruth.

I fucking love this game so much.

"They have always been that way" is the lamest fucking excuse for bad behavior. "Uncle Ronnie is creepy" "Uncle Ronnie has always been creepy" Bitch, I do not care. Somebody better go deal with Uncle Ronnie. He's always gonna be that way if you don't put a foot in his ass.

I found some of her widdle baby photos, and I can't 😭 I love my fur babies so much.

The face women make when they see how many runs I've done in Baldur's Gate 3

My new candle

I was wondering why the water was taking so long to boil. I forgot to turn on the stove. 🫣🤦🏻

I won't forget what some of these MFers have done. I'm not sorry at all. You can't disappear for months and expect to be absolved of accountability. If you're not going to try to be honest and become a better person, I have zero desire to forgive. Miss me with that shit.

One of my best friends had very recently, and very suddenly, lost his mother to sickness. She was a retirement home nurse, having spent her life dutifully caretaking. If you have the ability, please donate to her service and help take the weight off them. www.gofundme.com/f/in-loving-...

Donate to In loving memory of Maegan Ray, organized by Candace Glenn

The whole family is heartbroken by the loss of my sister, and I just wanted to ask for an… Candace Glenn needs your support for In loving memory of Maegan Ray

gofundme.com

My office assistant is sleeping on the job. SMH.

If I had a dollar for every time a straight girl told me that if I were a man, I'd be the perfect man, I would have a lot of dollars.

😎

My utility provider is 🐶 💩 An electrical engineer proved they were at fault for the voltage issues, which broke my AC 9 times. They provide "the minimum contractual service", so they are off the hook. I just paid $2,400 to fix some shit they broke. Fuck the corpos 🖕🏻 Fuck the system 😡

Love will not be silenced. We are not going away. Hatred will never win. We are stronger together. To my fellow queers and allies, I see you I support you I love you Thank you for being authentic NOW LET'S GO BE FUCKING FABULOUS!!!!! Happy Fucking Pride

I break the absolute fuck outta video games. It's a talent that I have been cursed with.

Well, it turns out that I am, in fact, REALLY gay

I mean...

If my couch were gay, would it be a homosectional?

I have ascended