who the fuck is that. don't mess me about crash

Crash Bandicoot@whoapancakes.bsky.social · 16h ago

???

don't tell any of the other freaks but tiny is my favourite. always does what daddy asks, smashes without question. dingo and koala could learn a thing or two from him

bet none of the other evil scientists had to deal with dumb fucks like i do on the daily. is it because of how cool and smart i am it must be surely

anyone good at making tapestries and stained glass windows. need some new ones to capture my beautiful visage. plus the bitchicoot tore them up and ended up running through one of my windows

komodo bros said theyre gonna get crash with their "secret chinese technique". what the fuck they're not even chinese

i originally tried to sabotage the place for the fun of it but it turns out poisoning the food and setting tnt crates everywhere just made it safer, so i said fuck this and left him to his own devices

❄️👻🦊 Quilo@quilowisp.bsky.social · 2d ago

If Dingodile can open a disgusting, unsanitary and failing restaurant, then they all have cope!

that's where you're WRONG when crash meets my dry as fuck mummy I got in all thems pyramids

MegaFan2001🍋@megafan2001.bsky.social · 2d ago

Until Crash comes in and reverses your damage.

as the old saying goes, "everything you make under me is mine. now get back to work"

The Gentle Tauradonna Oathsworn Of The Fourth Darkness@gentleoathsworn.bsky.social · 2d ago

Wait a minute: I thought Dr. Brio invented all of them????

Is it cultural appropriation if i go back in time and become a pharaoh and plaster my face all over the pyramids. Like technically they made it after me now

Who told my minions about making a union. You fucking idiots I made you, good luck getting hired anywhere else when you have 3 arms and 4 legs

i made n brio invent me a phone that wouldn't break so he gave me the N. Okia

MegaFan2001🍋@megafan2001.bsky.social · 6d ago

The fuck is it? A Nokia?

Im not above criticism i know i should learn from my mistakes just don't take it personallly when i have you perma chained in my dungeon for saying such stupid shit. And make sure you actually swipe at his ankles this time

Going back in time to find out magic exists really fucked me up. Howd my minions learn to do that they literally don't have a soul

I dropped my phone off the tower several days ago and finally found it again. Amazed it still works but kinda wish it killed the bandicoot on the way down

N gin thinks hes a chicken. The egg lurks

Fuckinnnnnn conksuck death ray jammed again. This has to be some guardian angel bullshit i had him in my sights

Had a chat with a fellow scientist and gave me some weird ideas for teleporting. If it helps me get crystals and stop crash then fuck yeah, thanks N. Gaster!

Dont interrupt me Im looming im fucking looming

Up all night making the ultimate creation; a big beefy boy who jumps the fuck around but then gets stuck for several seconds. Lets see that dipshit dodge that

Roughly once a year I remember this click hole post, and then I laugh till I cry

Crash keeps jacking off. my mutants

When i told my family the evil scientist thing wasnt a phase i meant it. Especially when i blew them the fuck up

Don't look at me with those sopping big eyes you beast

Crash Bandicoot@whoapancakes.bsky.social · 3w ago

Crash boom bang my ass

Feeling N. Farious >:)

sorry ive been gone, i heard a bullet ricochet sound outside and some wumpa fruit launched directly out the window into my mouth. literally couldve killed me

didn't match the uniform. they were gonna be my cortex commandos i can't have em wagging tails like a dog it'd be embarrassing. dingodile keeps his because otherwise he'd just be called dingo and that's dumb

MegaFan2001🍋@megafan2001.bsky.social · 3w ago

Speaking of which, why don't Crash, Coco and Crunch have tails?

ok i've crunched the numbers and I think if I make another bandicoot they'll def work for me this time

fuuuuuuck i dropped the crystal and it broke fuuuuuuck ukas gonna fucking kill me

what actually happened to koala kong....sent him to work in the mines because he loved minecraft and he never came out. hope he didn't die