It’s a beautiful day to call the police on aggressive drivers!

We are officially in what they call the “dog days of summer” in tha D: neighbors just started threatening each other and another neighbor’s dogs were violently fighting in their kennel.

Woman Cries 'Dis Too Merch!!!' - I Can't Take It

ALT: Woman Cries 'Dis Too Merch!!!' - I Can't Take It

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And does! Without fail I’m knocked out on the couch past 12, 1am and he in his bed counting sheep! 🤣

Lauren @oglauren.bsky.social · 3d ago

He said, "You can do whatever the hell you want. I need my rest" 🤣

My dog runs a strict program with his bedtime and it is the funniest shit ever. Homie will leave me on the couch by myself, go to my room and get in his bed, ok? Right about 9:30-ish 🤣🤣🤣

Bruh. I don’t mind scary movies but when they get disgusting…I tap out. The Mummy is a hard watch for me.

Kanan is a cold piece of work. Putting down both of ya uncles before you can legally drink or vote is crazyyyyy.

Note: we cannot fix broken people. Even if they’re close to us. What’s that saying about a drowning person? Can’t jump in to save them or they will take you down too? That.

Listening to Leave Me Alone by Michael Jackson and although he solely wrote that song, it sounds like something Stevie Wonder wrote and vocally produced. Crazy.

“Just because I seek peace doesn’t mean I’m not skilled at war.”

One coworker said the word “circumvent” to another and she said “what does that mean?” I yelled “that’s a BIG word for Elmo!” 🤣🤣🤣 That’s my latest vocal stim.

My dog uses his words and I love it. Me: you gotta boo boo? Him: *jumps up and down* RUFF! 😂🤣

My coworkers told me I chose violence when I overheard them say they add an egg to their Mac n cheese and I called that custard 😂🤣

I am so indecisive about my Disney outfit. Don’t know if I want to dress with a Buzz Lightyear fit or a Woody fit. I gotta take a poll cuz both are super cute! Lol

I’m drinking my lymphatic tea blend with pau d’arco 2x a day for the whole week. Gotta get a good internal cleanse. This helps when your system is overloaded with caffeine and eases the withdrawal symptoms.

I am determined to fall in love with my tea blends so I can stop drinking so much caffeine. I had zero lattes last week. Trying to keep the momentum going.

Would you like a payment plan? Would you like a payment extension?

Robert Redford Nodding Meme

ALT: Robert Redford Nodding Meme

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I refuse to be stressed about bills during my birthday season. I have a breakthrough coming and a trip to enjoy! TUH!

Cuz uh…I’m getting my nut til baby comes home. He will understand lol

Electrik ⚡️@fro-glow.blacksky.app · last wk.

I loved the Odyssey. Cannot believe Penelope went without getting knocked between concrete slabs for 20 YEARS 🫠

here's to a new week filled with opportunities you didn't expect, money you forgot was coming & peace you've been praying for

I’m adding Drew to the #RHOA scratch list with Shamea & Kelly. Add Cynthia back in along with NeNe. Done.

I finally watched the Aaliyah tribute at the Essence fest and the tears came at the final number of Rock The Boat. Jesus. She ain’t got no reason being gone.

What’s the hype around Dune? The first movie was a hard watch. Slow burn the whole way. Imma see it through to the second one…

Hey ladies! Has anyone used Wisp before? I have a trip coming up and auntie red is tryna come along but I don’t want her there!!!

Claiming Christianity in 2026 is comparable to claiming a gang, atp. I won’t be explaining further. Debate the Holy Ghost.

When I say this is my final iPhone on a plan, I mean it. And it’s over for AT&T too.

Muffin Men Stan 🤎🙂‍↕️@fokised1.blacksky.app · 2w ago

Apple: “Our devices are about to become so expensive, we’re going to create a leasing program just so you can use one.” So it begins.

Behold: a fortune from my bottle of magnesium glycinate.

Zucchini Bread 🥴🥰@zachia.blacksky.app · 2w ago

Who knew getting enough sleep would keep me from waking up grumpy? The world has so many secrets 🙂‍↔️

Rest in piss

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 2w ago

“A French professional model recruiter who for over a decade arranged for the late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein to meet multiple models, was found dead in his home near Paris”

My luteal phase consists of fighting back tears from thee most random shit ever. I will not explain further.

Dwayne Johnson: Don't Cry (Jumanji)

ALT: Dwayne Johnson: Don't Cry (Jumanji)

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I’ve never seen any of the Dune movies and my friends & coworker told me I’m missing out. HBOMax it is…