I just want to say that i love capitalism, capitalism saved my life, no one made me say this, i'm so grateful
DALIA MALEK ☥
@daliamalek.bsky.social
COMEDIAN WHO WEARS SHORTS ON STAGE. PLANT-BASED GOD. NOT YOUR HOMIE. HOST OF INTERRUPTION SHOW, LIVE COMEDY SHOW & PODCAST MY BUTT HAS A SEPARATE ACCOUNT @daliabutt.bsky.social
I know i say this about a lot of people but I genuinely thought he was dead. Is he really not dead? If he’s not dead, who is?
Miles Klee 🦉@milesklee.bsky.social · last wk.no we aren't. no it isn't. that isn't true
How’s my social life? the last text i got was from a bidet company informing me of a debate about folding vs scrunching toilet paper that has apparently been ongoing for years
If you're keeping a constitution you've had for a few hundred years, that's a red flag & you're a hoarder
Read the bill of rights & couldn't wait to put it down
Finally got around to reading the US constitution, it's shit
I have always considered lindsey graham & mitch mcconnell to be the same person, so you can imagine what a disappointing few weeks it’s been
Wanna feel old? This is what the members of Run the Jewels look like now.
Trying to understand how one of the world’s most prolific rapists managed to commit his crimes in broad daylight without instantly dissolving into ash
Chatting with AI & socialized as a woman: Is it [delete] Help me find [delete] Please find [delete] Sorry to bother you, this is a really stupid question 🤪 but if you have time (no rush!) I was just wondering if it’s normal to request a raise after 25 years or is that rude 🫣 thank you so much
Almost time for the network's requisite messi goal
Weekend At Bernie's 2: Bernie's Conga Line
ALT: Weekend At Bernie's 2: Bernie's Conga Line
static.klipy.com
That wasn't so much an offside trap as it was an offside nap
That was fantastic (putting this match out of its misery)
Analysis just kicked off with "to be honest, terrible game" lmao
Two teams stand before me, but only one can be america's next top bowling pin
Next time you feel bad about yourself, remember that you didn't play in the world cup 2026 final in front of beyoncé
Almost time for the network's requisite messi goal
Weekend At Bernie's 2: Bernie's Conga Line
ALT: Weekend At Bernie's 2: Bernie's Conga Line
static.klipy.com
Trump's gonna believe he can be a goalie after seeing this
About 20 minutes left, time for the referees to clock out early & let the institution do its thing