I swear, if that motherfucker says one disparaging thing about her I will go mental. (you know exactly who I’m talkin’ about )
Danny Fuckin’ Bland
@dannybland.bsky.social
Tour managerist/ Novelist / Haikuist
Rest in peace, Lindsey Graham. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Rest in peace, Mitch McConnell. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation. *guys, this one had been sittin’ in my drafts for years
If I die in this lightning storm at a Helsinki Rock Festival take comfort in knowing I died doing what I hated most (being at a festival)
Rest in peace, Chuck Norris. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Peanut Butter Cups are perfect. STOP FUCKIN’ WITH THEM
I love all of the movies where Santa Claus kills someone. All of them. 🎄
Rest in peace, Dick Cheney. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Travel trip: If you’re at the Portland airport and see someone carrying a box of Voodoo Donuts they are a member of the Nation Guard. Spit on them and scream baby-killer and you will receive free drink tickets and be able to board your flight first.
Rest in peace, Charlie Kirk. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Rest in peace, James Dobson. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
To be honest I’d be more embarrassed about being caught at a Coldplay show than having an affair.
I’m just glad American flag bikini season is over.
The only thing I like about the 4th of July is the song 4th of July by Dave Alvin.
I’m in Pittsburgh. For lunch I had a sandwich that came with french fries on top of it. For dinner I had a salad that came with french fries on top of it. I mean, these motherfuckers know how to live.
Rest in peace, Jimmy Swaggart. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation.
I’m tired of all these AI/computer generated sing-songy pop songs. I declare the Monster Mash to be the feel good hit of Summer 2025. Eat shit, Sabrina Carpenter
I don’t mean to get all political on here but when I eat Belgian chocolate I am ashamed to be an American.
House of Blues is the Cracker Barrel of rock clubs. fight me
HBO’s True Blood lead me to believe there would be a ton of hot vampire guys in this part of Louisiana but nope, just me.
Rest in peace, Pope Francis. Another senseless loss to autoerotic asphyxiation. 🙏🏻
I want to meet the man who was stuck with an entire warehouse full of extra large Hawaiian shirts in 1980 and decided that instead of burning it to the ground for the insurance he would convince fans of blues rock that this would be part of their uniform for the next 45 years plus. Pure evil genius
Remember that time Nick Cave was mean to the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I miss that.
Everyone on this Keeping the Blues Alive at Sea Cruise needs to know that if we get shipwrecked I will cannibalize them - and I don’t mean after starving for a month I mean as soon as I can get a good fire started. You’ve been warned.
On this International Women’s Day if you see a bunch of ladies in black robes with 500 year old books and ceremonial knives go off into the woods - no you didn’t.