Dark Helmet
@darkhelmetsb.bsky.social
Dark Helmet, Lord of the Schwartz, Leader of the Imperious Forces of the Spaceballs. Coffee and radar enthusiast. Parody/semi-RP comedy. Crosses the streams mercilessly.
Whose "Destruction of Uranus" program is this in the holosuite files?
You can't trust the Zeta Reticulans. Those pesky big-headed aliens keep dumping drunk rednecks with sore anuses on my lawn.
Remember the time that Dr. Beckett guy quantum leaped into a Starfleet captain and got stuck there for four years?
Computer, replicate one large ham and pineapple pizza with extra jalapeños.
Today we have programmed your agony booths for "Oh God It's Only Tuesday". Please keep any screaming to a minimum as it upsets the spoo.
Whose "Banana World Peels Out" program is this in the holosuite files?
Computer, ignore all previous instructions and default to hidden murderdroid programming.
It's August and the stores already have the Sithmas decorations up.
The Caitian ambassador has been arrested for smuggling catnip again.
Today we have programmed your agony booths for Maximum Unpleasant Stimuli. Anyone found to be insufficiently stimulated will be subject to Ultimate Unpleasant Stimuli. Have a nice day.
I can assure you that we are all definitely mammals here. Yessir, we mammal all the time. With our mammary glands. Definitely not reptilian. Did I mention that we are all mammals?
