Daryna Antoniuk

@darynant.bsky.social

Cybersecurity Reporter at Recorded Future News. Ex at The Kyiv Independent/Forbes/The Kyiv Post 📍Kyiv, Ukraine

Honestly, things in Ukraine are so bad right now that I’m just drifting through the days like a ghost, waiting for things to get even a little better so I don’t completely lose it.

Next time I start wondering why my physical and mental health tanked this past year, just remind me that I spend my mornings counting explosions, running on almost no sleep, and smoking cigarettes on an empty stomach

Spent the night hiding from missiles in the bathroom, got maybe two hours of sleep, and now I’m back in the bathroom drinking my coffee and mentally prepping for a full day of power outages while another wave of missiles flies toward Kyiv.

Three hours of electricity today. It’s just insane. My whole life revolves around the outage schedule now. I barely have time to charge anything, cook, or even do laundry. And with an awful weather in Kyiv right now, the whole situation feels even more depressing.

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I’ve been traveling for almost 20 hours from Warsaw to Kyiv, and by the time I finally got home I was completely exhausted — only to realize there was no electricity, so no hot shower and not even a cup of coffee.

How do you describe that feeling when you’re abroad but your city is under a massive missile attack, and instead of feeling safe or lucky, all you want is to be there with your people? The guilt is overwhelming, even though I’ve lived through dozens of these attacks in Kyiv.

Imagine coming from Kyiv — with its endless blackouts, the buzz of generators, and constant drone attacks — to any other city in Europe. Life here feels so normal, and I feel like an outcast. My first thought when I arrived in Warsaw was: why is it so bright here?

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POV: you wake up in Kyiv to the sound of an air raid siren. the apartment’s freezing, there’s no power, rain’s pouring outside, and you can’t even make yourself a cup of coffee because you have an electric stove

Kyiv’s been without power almost the whole day. The sound of generators echoes through the dark streets — and even though we’ve been through this before, it still feels surreal.

It feels like if I can make it through this toughest period of my life, I’ll come out a completely different person. Honestly, the only thing that keeps me going some days is wanting to see who that person will be.

POV: You’re at boxing class when the power suddenly goes out — but everyone just keeps punching the bag in the dark, in total silence. There aren’t many things that can catch us off guard anymore.

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I just realized that going through a breakup and living through a missile strike feels weirdly similar — you feel hopeless, smoke nonstop and rely way too much on sedatives. Sometimes I honestly can’t tell the difference between the two.