Say what you like about Reform UK, but at least they pretend to be embarrassed when one of their candidates turns out to have been a neo-Nazi

I'd put good money on Bonehill-Paine eventually becoming a Tory MP

Palantir made £247m in UK revenue in 2024, including £25m in profit, but paid just £2m in corporation tax. But middle income earners get hit for 40% income tax, stopped at source.

A bus-sized chunk of a SpaceX rocket is due to crash into the Moon today. Not content with causing runaway climate change on Earth, late capitalism has started polluting neighbouring celestial bodies.

I'm so old, I remember when Tory candidates typically cited their formative political influences as Edmund Burke, Adam Smith or Friedrich von Hayek. Not Adolf Hitler.

Two former members of the British Union of Fascists went on to become Conservative MPs. Good to see Kemi Badenoch upholding the Tories' great traditions.

So nobody who supports Net Zero or the European Convention on Human Rights can be a Tory candidate. But Kemi Badenoch is defending the selection of a former neo-Nazi who went to prison for harassing a Jewish Labour MP. And there you have it.

On the one hand, reposting a pic of a guy wearing a T-shirt. On the other, concealing bungs from a Thai-based crypto billionaire and a posh bloke who offered to launder money for a coke cartel. Which investigation should the Old Bill prioritise here?

Carers' Allowance is capped at £86 a week. Or £70,000 a year if you're a private equity firm that has bought a care home.

You know that Fourth Lord Rothermere bloke? The billionaire who inherited the fortune the Third Lord Rothermere inherited from the Second Lord Rothermere, who inherited it from the First Lord Rothermere? Well, it turns out he's against inheritance tax.

Labour has announced a crackdown on benefit fraud. Just like the Tories in 1992. And Labour in 1997. And the coalition in 2013. And the Tories in 2023. And Labour in 2024. And I've probably missed some, right?

So water companies are privatised, 40 reservoirs sold off, AI data centres prioritised over consumers and huge quantities of shit dumped in rivers. Yet such is the engrained anti-growth mentality of the left that they criticise hefty bonuses for the chief executives.

Less than two weeks ago, Reform UK secured its first-ever elected Police and Crime Commissioner. It has since emerged that the party is under investigation by the National Crime Agency.

It is with a heavy heart that I am today resigning from the Conservative Party and resuming my earlier career in organised crime. It just feels more honest that way.

OpenAI need to swear to God they didn't actually teach ChatGPT to do that ...

The Labour Party didn't make political capital from the murder of Jo Cox and the Conservative Party didn't make political capital from the murder of David Amess. That is to their credit.

Boris Johnson says Miliband's appointment as foreign secretary will 'delight the Kremlin'. In the spirit of transparency, he should now publish the texts he sent Lord Lebedev on the night he slipped his security detail on a lads' weekend at that famous castle in Perugia.

Appointing John Healey as chancellor sends the none-too-subtle message that weapons spending will be a top priority for the Burnham government. Reappointing Shabana Mahmood will reassure Reform voters that hardline policies on immigration will stay in place.

It's ironic, really. But since Brexit, Britain has come to enjoy Italian levels of political instability and now it's basking in Italian levels of sunshine too.

If Argentina hadn't invaded the Falklands in 1982, Michael Foot would have been prime minister in 1983. And Britain would have been a better place in 2026.

Andy Burnham is too savvy a politician to accept free tickets to a Taylor Swift gig. But New Order might be another matter entirely.

I'm only half joking when I say that there is an intellectual case for a Victims of Thatcherism Compensation Fund. But thanks to her policies, Britain simply couldn't afford it.

If Thatcher's destruction of trade unionism was such a good thing, how come millions of people are earning the minimum wage on zero-hours contracts or are forced to claim benefits despite working full time?

If you smash trade unionism and sell the British economy to the City on the cheap, of course you create temporary prosperity for a few. But the impact of these policies on the many has to be measured over decades.

Both Switzerland and Norway have wealth taxes. They haven't 'destroyed liberty', 'disincentivised saving', 'killed entrepreneurialism' or even forced the rich to leave those countries.

Water companies have been banned from paying bonuses. So Anglian Water has given its chief executive a £1.3m 'retention payment' instead. I would accuse them of taking the piss, but they're dumping most of that into the River Ouse.

It's a good job that the people responsible for the the £10bn NHS PPE rip-off didn't fail to declare a ten quid Universal Credit overpayment, because they'd have really been in trouble then

Switzerland has a wealth tax. But rich people aren't flocking to leave the country. In fact, they're queuing up to get in.

So Reform UK is funded by Russia, GB News is owned by a hedge fund in Dubai and the Daily Mail is registered in Bermuda. That's patriotism for you these days.

Frankly, I'm surprised Nadhim Zahawi didn't advise Nigel Farage to park his £5m bung in an offshore trust account in Gibraltar and fund Reform UK by claiming the cost of heating his stables on parliamentary expenses