Just woke up from a 3 day sick nap and was overcome by a carnal need for sprite and nutter butters Telported to the nearest 7/11 and proceeded to buy that and every glizzy they had, must have eaten 17. It was a slaughter.
@dawizardfarglelore.bsky.social
"Not very magical," he chuckles darkly. You wiz meekly, presenting your wizard Hole in submission as you are overwhelmed by his superior mage pheromones and musk. And then. And then he pulls it out. He pulls out his W #HisWang 3/3
There's only one person in the audience. His wizard hat is far more handsom than yours. His purple robes is tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. He long beard. The mage walks over, leans over your frail wizard body, sneering. 2/3
Imagine working as a wizard, and you're absolutely bombing your spell. You're juggling your components all over the floor, you're slipping on your own little scrying orbs, you're shooting your little wand without even meaning to. And no one is in aww of your archane might. 1/2
HOT GAY WIZARD SEX IS FINALY DONE!! MY FIRST FULLY SELF MADE WIZARD ROMACE ZINE
I want to come out as a Christopher Lee kin but my ex moirail (homestuck term for QPR) was a Gandalf kin and we parted on bad terms (I tried to lock him in my car) and it kind of got awkward but also its pride month and I should be allowed to? Be? Myself? Unapologetically? So anyway. Yeah... #vent
I am in despair from losing my thrawl. I cannot accept that it would just run away to be a little circus boy. I am enraged. Whatever. Who needs a thrawl. I was a terrible master anyway #igotbiggerspellstocast
Looksmaxxing until I turn into Him #Looksmaxxing #realwizardshit #gains #youwishyoucouldcast #fireball
why why raise thrawls with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could raise thrawls with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....
Dear Archmagus azeem the dwarfange slayer, Some mortal just came back to the cave talking about how the shadows on the wall only reflect a superficial reality and then tried to explain to me what the outdoors looks like? Needless to say i beet them to death with my staff. @blackpurist.com
hardest part of drawing a wizard is deciding whether they have gloves on or there manicure out 💅 The hardest part of beeing a wizard is probably the same.
At night I hear the goblins in my house whispering to me and telling me to go full on gobo mode. I can't listen to them yet. But I tell them, soon
Imagin a grown ass wizard playing around with a sword, pick up the orb little bro.
By the eight runes what quandary has passed over my eyes by the crustacean that has procured a bowl of enflamed rice. #shripfiredrice
Corporate mages be like half off all transmutation glifs for pride month but then triple the base price. #SMH #pridemonth
Why are there no wizzard songs, like fuck there are songs about elves and dwarves but by mistras name there isn't a single good wizard song. #wlm
What in the nine hells is a lemon, seriously is that some kind of lesser demon. What do you mean it's a citrus. Like where jesters cavort? Honestly people.
Everone now days is going all over the orb posting about how they can transmute there cat into a dog or a mouse. What basic magics, transmute a worm into a eagle and then you can talk. #wholetthedogsout
Holy shit how hard is it to Brew an elixir of madness, like Jesus people just chop the fucking grick placenta in bite sized peices not fucking Juliand slivers. #thegreatbritshbakeoff #kitchenbasics
This wizard ale got me seeing 5th dimensional hyper time goblins and there table manners are atrocious. #cosmicdui #acab #fundayfriday
The archmagus demention door on my Mordenkainen's Sword till I delayed blast fireball. #realshit #firstworldproblems
You come across a wizzard in a forest sitting on an old log. You: what are you dooing out here old man? The wizard: what dose one do when one has pursued all forms or reconciliation against an enemy and there answer is apathy? You: what are you taking about old man? Wizard: hands you a molotov.
Wizard wisdom of the day: one spell before brunch and you have a hunch, a spell before linner and you'll go to the shitter. #spellcasting #wizardwisdom #fantasyfootball