why is the world so cruel to me why me incomprehensible monsters like trump get to be president but the universe has chosen some random awkward girl as its punching bag what is the goal what does it want from me does it want me dead should I just die

I'm scared

I wish my autism didn't make me socially awkward it'd undo so many of my problems damn neurotypicals and their social cues and heirarchies I just want to talk to people without overthinking every word

god I need Re:Zero season 5 so bad

I just made a breakthrough during writing practice I know how to tell シ and ツ apart and ソ and ン apart, it's all in the stroke direction and they match the height of the sound in your mouth I struggled with this for so long but now I get it

recovering from this surgery is the hardest thing I've ever done and it hasn't really felt worth it yet I know it will but I need it to soon I am losing my mind

I hate myself so much I'm such a weak pathetic idiot who can't handle any kind of pain and hardship and I ruin everything I touch by being an autistic moron I don't deserve friends I don't deserve to live

if only there was some sort of symbol or something to tell me which is the left sock and which is the right sock so I wouldn't have to figure it out by wearing them

anyone else find modern Minecraft caves kind of overstimulating

I love committing horrors as Japan in Victoria 2 to escape the horrors of real life for a bit

I love Phoenix so fucking much. I'm gonna marry her someday I know I will

I do wish bottom surgery alleviated more dysphoria than it has so far. It's done very little so far, but to be fair it's only been 2.5 weeks and everything still hurts so

I have sooo many dumbass jokes about my bottom surgery results but I cannot make any of them in public this sucks

Splatoon 3 is fun as HELL I forgot

I love my wife she's so nice to me I'm in so much pain and I'm helpless and I feel like a baby I hate it but my wife is going to take care of meee

Man life as a squishmallow in the toy store world would fucking suck, imagine you're just a fucking ball...

I hate this catheter get it out

eating breakfast and watching c span life is good never kill yourself

BOTTOM SURGERY AIN'T SHIT PUSSY UNBROKEN (damn I'm sore though)

I'm a girl so it's not called manipulation it's called girlbossing

thinking about how a genuine factor in me becoming an atheist when I was 11 was me thinking "if god is real why did he make the world hell" why was preteen me already disenchanted with the world around me what the hell happened to me

Almost a year later and I stand by this

phen@aphenomena.bsky.social · last yr.

they should add a grok equivalent to bluesky but instead of doing anything important it just responds to posts with pictures of oiled up dudes... that'd be pretty cool...

why does Poland look like this

I really need to stop pretending like I'm mildly lactose intolerant omg

I wish I was a pretty girl

Victoria 2 is fun as fuck I forget

ding dong the wicked mitch is dead wait what the hell that's not-

idk why people are so mad about the playstation discs not being manufactured anymore in a few years, it's not like the ps5 had games anyway this doesn't really change anything

confusing my grandparents by not eating breakfast (I had a really big dinner and my parents are bringing us food in two hours)

INDIANA ROADS ARE SO FUCKING SHIT THE RV SHOWER FUCKING SHATTERED TEMPERED GLASS BTW