happy birthday sad space robot

Pureferret@pureferret.bsky.social · 9h ago

@deathbybadger.bsky.social It's Curiosity's Birthday today! Can you post Space Junk Cyberpunk to BlueSky?

@deathbybadger.bsky.social that one member of the party who always wants to use “fireball” 😆

fascists will be like The Noble Wisdom of our Ancient Past but then you'll open an actual book and the noble wisdom will be "snakes flee at the sound of the mandolin because they have no spleen, the organ of lust" and "electrum makes you gay"

ALIEN 1: whats that species over there ALIEN 2: oh thats a human, dont talk to them, they love to domesticate things HUMAN: (waving a piece of bacon) 😃 ALIEN 1: they do seem friendly ALIEN 2: i am consumed by an urge to live indoors

i actually think that if someone enters my home and I offer them tea only for them to request coffee I should be allowed under the laws of hospitality to strike them

AI companies (preparing to start up the book-shredder 5000): why does everyone hate us

late for dinner at odysseus' palace like omg can't believe you're back, you look great btw, i said to the guys all the time we should totally respect odysseus' wife, yea no I mean its your palace right, if you needed to shoot a few guys its cool what am i the arrow police haha

30 minutes of patiently explaining Do Not put that Lorry on that Fragile Sinking Sewer Manhole outside our House and i turn my back only for them to flat out ignore me, two seconds of bellowing ARE YOU BLIND AND DEAF in my big boy voice and i get results, i am learning all kinds of lessons today

We should all be so lucky that we have such a robust body of work that our kinks can be easily identified by dedicated readers.

Anthony Oliveira@meakoopa.bsky.social · 2w ago

a: no

I am reading this book by walt odets about why gay men are so fucked up and after every chapter I'll do something like sit in the shower for two days and think about my choices only for the next chapter to be called "shower squatting: a queer defense mechanism"

INTERVIEWER: i am NOT going to call you a good boy ARMAND: ah you bully armand, you torture him with your endless questions, cruel! unkind! to little armand the vampire, why do you malign him so 🥺 INTERVIEWER: im not doing it ARMAND: your childrens children will pay for this

companies burning 75million here and 352 million there like 'we're not profitable' and everyone I know wants 3.50 for a sandwich but the economy cant sustain it

turning up to the book visibility alchemist like "my codex is invisible" and they are like "have you tried essence of grendel" and I say of course I have and they say well we can replace the cover but that'll be 5 gold coins and im like a whole new book is 3 gold coins! and they just shrug

Adam Roberts@adamroberts.bsky.social · 3w ago

Email this morning from a self-declared "Book Visibility Alchemist".

had the handyman over to fix something and he asks if I am watching the football which obviously I am not, I mean look around you frank, is this the house of a man who knows the offside rule, be serious

'you cant control what the reader thinks' incorrect. many readers show significant attitude improvement after being placed inside the pain colander

Huge thanks to the fabulous @elwyst.bsky.social , my American book dealer & fellow #GoodOmens fan, who got @deathbybadger.bsky.social’s new book, #TheDevilAndMrsGooch, not readily available in the UK, & posted it to me with a load of goodies, including #Discworld stickers. 🥰🥰🥰

I love it when old books are like "throw salt in the eyes of a demon to repel it" or "drop a bundle of sticks at their feet to confuse them" because it feels like this would work on pretty much any ordinary person and also dogs and stuff

once a month someone sends me this game and says "have you seen this" and I have to look up, haggard, with ink stained hands, and say 'yes i made it'

if you would also like to be vexed and cross at villainy you can read an excerpt here, but only if you can stomach skeletal concierges Chapter 6: The Hotel Paramort cdn.wwnorton.com/marketing/tr...

Holir@holir.bsky.social · 4w ago

Just finished the first chapter of The Devil and Mrs. Gooch by @deathbybadger.bsky.social. I AM VEXED & CROSS!

Just finished the first chapter of The Devil and Mrs. Gooch by @deathbybadger.bsky.social. I AM VEXED & CROSS!

it is 2026. the future of british politics lies in the hands of a man with a trash can taped to his head called count binface. how could one fruit basket have caused so much chaos? you boot up your time machine — cleopatra must survive

the secret to reading stuffy romantic-era poetry like wordsworth is you have to imagine a really hot guy reading it to you, hes only talking about trees because society says you cant fuck in an arboretum, this is how it was intended to be read

i do this thing where I make a guy change into slutty shorts and then immediately make him take them off for sex like half an hour later, and I cant decide if I'm unreasonable for insisting on the costume change or he is for not turning up in them in the first place, but he DOES always bring them

im going to be honest I think anne rice was a complicated person and her books are completely bananas but I have increasing respect for her capacity as an artist to indulge in completely monstrous characters and bash them together like eldritch ken dolls with no remorse whatsoever

Finished reading Oliver Darkshire's "Isabella Nagg And The Pot Of Basil: Household Gramarye, Book 1" amzn.to/4oLaXW3 📖🪴 This was an engaging, clever,mischievous (and British) #cozy bit of #fantasy. Really glad there's another book (but that's a tale for another day). @deathbybadger.bsky.social

No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive.

DUNGEON MASTER: you heave open the door to the crypt! inside you find a skeletal mage and (checks notes) well to be honest I don't know how else to say this but she's serving cunt

so we are D&Ding, negotiating with a dragon; they ask how big it is and i check the draconomicon, brass dragon, 87 years old, so about as big as a horse - they are like "wtf we can take this dragon" and im like ok jared you and 4 of your mates go fight a horse and lmk how it goes

Started reading Oliver Darkshire's "Isabella Nagg And The Pot Of Basil: Household Gramarye, Book 1" amzn.to/4oLaXW3 📖🪴 This very British #fantasy tale seems to be equal parts #cozy and #cheeky. #books #reading @deathbybadger.bsky.social @wwnorton.com #BookSky

very enlightened times we live in because I will say "yea I just struggle to do the bare minimum" and someone will go "oh maybe you have adhd" and look thats so kind of you to assume the best in me but I am genuinely just really lazy, I am at peace with this character flaw