i finished the personal essay for college application with my therapist today, just a little more to do and i can submit my application
sylvie ⋆˚꩜｡
@decay4ever.bsky.social
20 | they/them | vent acc depression, anxiety, ospd
finally started my college application for the women’s college with my therapist today. working on it made me feel really overwhelmed and pretty terrible but i must do it.
went to see a movie and got dinner with him today and we went back to his apartment and cuddled a little, i feel so relieved he still wants to be with me
i feel so fucking terrible like everyone secretly hates me and i’m a lost cause amd i shouldn’t even be alive i was feeling good recently, i don’t want to go back
i’m always really sad when i get home after having fun with my friends and i don’t know how to feel better
went out to a real college party with my friends last night and i felt really out of place there but i had fun the rest of the night!
yesterday i forgot whether my foot was on the gas or the break and i almost rolled right through a stop sign onto a busy road and hit someone turning. i’m terrified that’s going to happen again today. seriously though am i stupid like how does that even happen? i shouldn’t have a license man.
he said he doesn’t want to talk anymore today and i realized i took it too personally but i still feel hurt and i want to talk to him
i had to take my piercings out for tms and i got plastic jewelry but i can’t get the septum in ugh i don’t want the hole to close
i came home and slept for like 2.5 hours after tms, so far tiredness is the only side effect i’ve experienced
it wasn’t bad at all! i’m bad at driving but i made it there and back and the tms treatment was fine this time yay
sylvie ⋆˚꩜｡@decay4ever.bsky.social · last wk.i have to drive myself to my tms appointment today and i’m so anxious
i have to drive myself to my tms appointment today and i’m so anxious
just did my first tms treatment and omg the anxiety was unbearable. it felt fine but i got hit with a wave of panic everytime it did it and i had to take a couple breaks to prevent a panic attack. i don’t know if i can do this.
also my results were all average so i likely do not have adhd, as i thought
sylvie ⋆˚꩜｡@decay4ever.bsky.social · 2w agojust took an adhd test my psychiatrist wanted me to take and man the second half was hard 😭
i am manifesting men approaching me but so far they are not the right age, either 30 or 18 😒
just took an adhd test my psychiatrist wanted me to take and man the second half was hard 😭
she asked for more money today, i had to say no this time. she also asked me to ask my dad to give me the money, idk this is very suspicious and i’m worried about her :(
sylvie ⋆˚꩜｡@decay4ever.bsky.social · 2w agomy roommate from inpatient just called and asked for $50 cause her car broke down and i sent it to her but now i have the strong feeling i got taken advantage of
i might try and drive two hours to go see him tomorrow (i have never driven farther than 30 minutes alone)
i want to stop texting him so he’ll miss me and to kinda punish him for breaking up with me but not talking to him hurts me 😭
sylvie ⋆˚꩜｡@decay4ever.bsky.social · 2w agoi’m still in love with him but i don’t know if i want to get back together. he broke my heart twice, he shouldn’t get me back so easily.
i feel like i most certainly just got taken advantage of and i feel like an idiot now
my roommate from inpatient just called and asked for $50 cause her car broke down and i sent it to her but now i have the strong feeling i got taken advantage of
i’m still in love with him but i don’t know if i want to get back together. he broke my heart twice, he shouldn’t get me back so easily.
this girl that was flirting with my ex (when she had a bf and knew my ex was dating me btw) is back at it again now that we’ve broken up. he doesn’t like her and thinks she’s crazy but i’m scared he’s gonna sleep with her just because he can.