AH YES A DREAMY 80 DEGREES

DENVER, IN THIS, THE BUDDING ERA OF THE ULTRAHEAT, WE MUST TREASURE THE LITTLE THINGS. TODAY'S HIGH WILL BE IN THE 80s. YESTERDAY'S WAS TOO. HELL YEAH, NOT-OBSCENELY-HOT-TEMPERATURES!

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ fuck this 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

FUCK, THE TEMPERATURE SOMEHOW WENT UP A DEGREE FROM AN HOUR AGO. IT'S EARLY EVENING THE TEMPERATURE IS SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK IS FUCKING HAPPENING THIS IS NOT OKAY.

DENVER I KNOW IT'S UNGODLY HOT OUT THERE BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW IT WILL ALSO BE UNGODLY HOT OUT THERE TOMORROW, THEN FRIDAY, AND PROBABLY THIS COMING SATURDAY AS WELL. [MIDDLE FINGERS IN THE AIR] FUCK IT ALL! SUN: 102°/71° MON: 101°/62° TUE: 80°/58° WED: 84°/61° THU: 93°/63° FRI: 98°/69°

Rockies Fan Opens Private Tab To Check Score

DENVER THIS WEEKEND JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE, WITH A REAL SCORCHER AND POSSIBLE RECORD-SETTING (WELL, RECORD-TYING) 103 DEGREE HIGH FORECAST FOR SUNDAY. F U SUNDAY GO DIE IN A FIRE. NO, WAIT, THAT'S US. FUCK. FRI: 91°/64° SAT: 95°/69° SUN: 103°/73°

WHO'S READY FOR SOME... 🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️ 🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️ 🌧️ MOTHERFUCKING RAIN 🌧️ 🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️ 🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️🌧️

DENVER THE UNRELENTING HEAT RELENTS A LITTLE... BUT NOT TODAY AND, WHEN IT DOES RELENT, NOT ENOUGH. [MIDDLE FINGERS OUT, SPINNING AROUND] FUCK EVERYTHING, FUCK IT ALL, FUCK IT REPEATEDLY SUN: 101°/74° MON: 94°/68° TUE: 92°/66° STORMS WED: 91°/67° STORMS THU: 94°/67° STORMS FRI: 96°/67°

DENVER WE'VE GOT A WEEKEND FULL OF FUCKING BULLSHIT AND IT ONLY GETS BULLSHITTIER THE DEEPER WE GET. SATURDAY WE COULD SET A RECORD HIGH (FUCK THAT), AND THEN SUNDAY WE COULD TOO (FUCK OFF U WEATHER RECORDS WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO U????) SUCH CRAP: FRI: 97°/71° SAT: 100°/72° SUN: 100°/72°

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀 96° AT 6 P.M. 💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃 💃💃💃 IT HOT 💃💃💃 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

DENVER, IT BRINGS ME NO JOY TO TELL YOU THAT WE'VE GOT A SCORCHER TODAY FOLLOWED BY A 100° MOTHERFUCKER MONDAY. FUCK THIS, FUCK THAT, FUCK EVERYTHING. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: SUN: 99°/70° MON: 100°/72° TUE: 92°/68° WED: 90°/67° STORMS THU: 84°/66° STORMS FRI: 91°/68° STORMS

DENVER IT'S STILL TOO GODDAMNED HOT. FUCK! YR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 94°/67° SAT: 95°/67° SUN: 98°/71°

lol love this so hard what the fuck does it take to get one of these god damned amazing profile badges around here

DENVER THIS IS SOME SCORCHY BULLSHIT WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF AND I DON'T LIKE IT VERY MUCH. YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: SUN: 97°/67° FUCK THIS MON: 98°/66° FUCK THAT TUE: 96°/65° FUCK THIS TOO WED: 95°/65° FUCKING FUCK RIGHT OFF THU: 96°/66° NOPE FRI: 95°/66° FUCK.

DENVER IT'S HOT AND LORD ALMIGHTY IT'S GETTIN FUCKIN HOTTER. THE FAT CATS AT BOULDER'S NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WITH THEIR "FREE AIR CONDITIONING" AND THEIR "ILLEGAL FRIENDSHIP WITH THE (EVIL) SUN" HAVE SOME ANSWERING TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 91°/62° SAT: 97°/62° SUN: 97°/66°

DENVER, IT'S HOTTER THAN I'D LIKE, BUT IT'S JULY SO [SHRUGGIE] JUST REMEMBER WHEN IT GETS TOO HOT FOR YOU THAT THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AND THE OIL COMPANIES HELPED THIS HELL ALONG. SUN: 96°/66° MON: 96°/67° TUE: 92°/65° WED: 92°/64° LIL STORMY GUYS THU: 89°/62° FRI: 91°/63°

DENVER, YOU KNOW, I LOVE THIS FUCKING COUNTRY. I LOVE ITS NINETY DEGREE HIGHS, ITS LOWS IN THE TEENS (CC MATT GAETZ), AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN. I LOVE THREE DAY WEEKENDS, I LOVE FIREWORKS... I LOVE FIREWORK BANS. FUCK YEA USA NEVER STOP BEING U FRI: 92°/62° SAT: 89°/60° SUN: 92°/63°

DENVER IT IS HOT, IT'S FUCKING HOT, IT'S NOT SCORCHING SO WE HAVE THAT GOING FOR US BUT OTHERWISE... IT HOT. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST: HAWT... SOMEBODY PLEASE GIVE THE WEATHER GODS WHAT THEY WANT... YOUR FUCKING WEATHER: SUN: 95°/59° MON: 90°/57° TUE: 93°/59° WED: 90°/60° THU: 92°/61° FRI: 95°/64°

5 P.M. WEEKEND. HELL YES.

DENVER WE ARE GETTING PERILOUSLY CLOSE TO SCORCHY TEMPERATURES, THE WEATHER GODS ARE ANGSTY, JULY IS NIGH. BE GOOD TO ONE ANOTHER, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HAS CENTRAL AIR AT HOME AND WHO'S GOT A SHITTY A/C BOX. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 86°/65° SAT: 95°/63° SUN: 95°/60°

DENVER IT IS HOT BUT NOT HOTTTTT, NOR IS IT SEARING, NOR IS IT SCORCHING. WE MUST PRAISE THE WEATHER GODS, YEA, WE MUST OFFER THEM OUR THANKS, OUR SPLIFFS AND LUXURIOUS RIM JOBS... FORTHRIGHT. SUN: 88°/59° MON: 87°/59° TUE: 83°/60° WED: 84°/59° STORMS THU: 79°/61° STORMS / HELL YEAH FRI: 86°/62°

DENVER, METEOROLOGICAL SUMMER IS UPON US. BUT WE ALREADY KNEW IT WAS FUCKIN SUMMER, SO WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE??? YEAH... YOU TELL ME. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 85°/60° SAT: 93°/59° SUN: 89°/57°

ROCKIES WHAT IN THE LITERAL HELL IS HAPPENING IN THIS GAME I MEAN I DON’T HATE IT BUT I ALSO DON’T UNDERSTAND IT, THIS IS A SCORE YOU SEE IN FOOTBALL … NOT BASEBALL

DENVER DON'T BE FOOLED BY TODAY'S BEAUTY, THIS IS THE WEEK 1. SHIT STARTS SIZZLING 2. THE WEATHER GODS FORSAKE US and 3. [takes out rocketlauncher, aims high] WE DESTROY THE FUCKING SUN. SUN: 72°/52° MON: 82°/54° TUE: 91°/64° WED: 96°/57° FUCK THIS THU: 85°/59° FRI: 90°/63°

DENVER, IT'S HOT TODAY BUT IT WON'T LAST, A COLD FRONT TAKES US DOWN TO HIGHS IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN 60s COME SUNDAY WHICH I'M NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT, ANYTHING UNDER 80° AT THIS POINT IN THE YEAR IS GODDAMNED GRAVY.... FREAKING DIAMOND... JIZZIN 4 JOY FRI: 92°/59° SAT: 80°/53° SUN: 65°/50° RANDO STORMS

DENVER I DON'T LIKE IT, NOBODY LIKES IT, BUT IT'S SUMMER AND UNLESS YR ONE OF THE FAT CATS UP AT BOULDER'S NWS YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THE PRIMO AIR CONDITIONING ONLY THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS ABOUT (I TELL THE TRUTH) FUCK ALL THIS: SUN: 92°/63° MON: 84°/58° TUE: 93°/59° WED: 91°/54° THU: 84°/57° FRI: 91°/59°

DENVER IT'S HOT BUT NOT SCORCHY, WHICH MEANS ONE THING: GOD DAMMIT IT'S POOL PARTY WEATHER. MOTHERFUCKING CANNONBALLS FOLLOWED BY MONDO SPLIFFS, HELL YEAH. YOUR FUCKING WEEKEND: FRI: 89°/60° SAT: 92°/62° SUN: 92°/60°

DENVER THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE HOT STUFF. SOON WE WILL LOOK BACK ON THESE TEMPS IN THE LOW 80s AND SMILE WITH THE MEMORY OF TIMES PAST. I GUESS I SHOULD FINALLY GET MY MOTHERFUCKING AIR CONDITIONER OUT FROM STORAGE. SUN: 83°/55° MON: 81°/55° TUE: 80°/57° WED: 80°/56° THU: 86°/59° FRI: 86°/60°