Devv

@devvrm.bsky.social

🔞 minors dni | likes fast things with wheels or wings

struggling with trying to find motivation to stream on twitch again when every time i go live it's legit just the same 3 friends who come in and stick around, and no one else, ever. feels like it'd be the same if i just streamed to them in a discord group chat instead.

how the hell do people even move out? know where to go, what to do? have the confidence and knowledge that they can even find employment somewhere and not go completely broke and homeless??

never felt this close to just crying. surrounded by people i think are my friends, but feeling abandoned, unwanted. feeling suppressed from speaking out, interacting in any way. and it happens basically every time i go anywhere more crowded, over and over and over again. why do i bother.

steam frame so expensive it's far out of my budget for the foreseeable future fugg free me from the quest enshittification someone

tell me how the fuck i haven't killed myself yet when every single chance at a better life and every single hope i've ever had gets brutally crushed, and i'm constantly left with fuck all at the end of the day

kinda on the topic of the last post: please also don't introduce me to people as a DJ, or an artist. I don't care for fame or name recognition, I just make things, and I will do everything I can to avoid building any name recognition. fame is about the worst thing you can wish upon someone.

i can't judge who's an actual friend and there for me as me, as a person and who's around because of what i can give, and the perceived "coolness" cuz i'm a DJ or an artist makes me feel paranoid rn

seeing some furries talk smack about furries @ megaplex with rounder fursuits frustrates me. these same people are probably into some way worse things than that, but nah, let's be absolutely vile and rancid because someone has a big belly on their wearable carpet depicting their fictional character.

i feel like i'll register as an insane person to everyone else cuz nearly every time i look at this drawing i feel a sense of melancholia. like this is the last "innocent" drawing that i made before reality kicked in. reality that i wish i wasn't so lost in, anxious over, held back by.

Bild

i feel like i really need to talk about something, probably with a professional but no one is good and trustworthy in my physical range, and online - feels sketch, besides home not being a comfy place for me