Hayes
@dirtcupart.bsky.social
internet drawer and queer. he/him I tricked someone into publishing porn of my OCs recently. You may have heard of me… PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/c/u3181232
the terror of being perceived by the proverbial white cishet man at the center of the social panopticon like i literally don't want anything to do with you or your thoughts about me
feel like the concept of "male centered" could've gone somewhere but unfortunately it just became chewed up by pop culture feminism as like, "woman wants to date a guy" and not like, unconsciously viewing yourself and others thru the filter of cishet men
the state of being nonbinary for me which may not be true is this feeling that no one sees me as nonbinary no matter how i dress and if i explain im nonbinary theyr like UHG sure OK and if im dressed femme they think that means i am like "a nonbinary woman"
i think i just want to be androgynous and able to be whatever gender at will. i also feel like not rly a girl. like when i interact w a girl im like so im an imposter. and when a girl is fictional especially im like thats not me. but i dont think i want to rly be a guy all the time
genuinely i'm being suppressed is it bc of my spam level posting abilities im not a bot im just really good at this
caring about what gender i am is too much work i want to give up
am i as bad as piss joke local theatre play? is super crush not just piss jokes.... but for weebs who like to see catboys get bukake'd?
okay. so. i went to a local community theatre halloween thing w the goal of saying hi to the actors afterward and trying to make some friends. however i failed bc the play had a torrential volume of piss jokes and i felt like. i cannot say anything.
there are things about me that are real. i went out and did something even if i didn't talk to anyone
i'm at a local theatre original play and when i tell you it is 60% jokes about pissing yourself i like absolutely may be underselling it
pretty sure the only reason we have boobs is bc we stand upright so our asses swelling up like how chimps and bonobos are wouldn't work as well. but would be interesting to know when exactly the mutant ass swelling went away in our family tree
the actual problem w my transition is that i don't have any gay friends IRL anymore and my mom refuses to use my new name or stop calling me her daughter and other things