A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "I'm sorry, but you have Lou Gehrig's disease." The man breaks down in tears, "but Doctor, I am Lou Gehrig."
Kyle Dodson
@kyledodsonfunny.bsky.social
Comedian, Writer, Facial Hair Connoisseur, Batman aficionado, Social Media Manager, and Oxford comma supporter. https://linktr.ee/KyleDodsonFunny
*standing on the Project Runway stage next to a naked man in a monocle and top hat holding a cane* Heidi Klum: "and you inspiration was-" me: "Mr. Peanut. Yes."
It's not technically Gatorade if it isn't brewed in the Gainesville region of Florida.
*hr giger painstakingly designing the grossest winamp skin you've ever seen*
Episode #879: "21 From 182" Host & Producer: @patfrancis.bsky.social Co-Host: @kyledodsonfunny.bsky.social Artwork: @jasonlevy.bsky.social ART19 LINK: art19.com/shows/rock-s...
"They dropped a house on my sister, so yeah, I'm beginning to think I'm back." - John Wicked
"No I'm hearing this for the first time. A house, really? Which witch? The Wicked witch?"
Kim Davis when the Supreme Court upholds gay marriage
The Democrats remind me of this guy in college who decided to not have sex (totally fine) but over a myriad of other options, he chose to drive home drunk.
I hate sports Halloween. What do you mean you're Jordan Hudson's sonogram from the 2000 Patriots season?
nobody: robotic voice in a RUSH song: "░S░U░B░D░I░V░I░S░I░O░N░S░"
oh no they gave Stretch Armstrong fuck boi tattoo!!
It's like saying PIN Number or ATM Machine, or BTK Killer
Hey friends, looking for some extra freelance work for the end of the year. Willing to work within your budget. Can provide my portfolio. DM me if you need any of the following: 🎨 Graphic Design ✅ Show Posters ✅ Logos ✅ Twitch/YouTube Overlays ✅ Pitch Decks 🧵 1/3
My wife said "beheading?! you'd better be heading out the door!"
me to a founding father: "look, I'll explain what this weird device is in a second, just tell me if you hear 'yanny' or 'laurel.'"
Darth Vader. Willy Wonka. The Grinch. Childhoods I never needed to see on screen.
wait, he's Gigli?!? I always thought she was Gigli!
made this to send in a group chat and honestly it's funnier without the context
Trump "there are too many days off" Buddy when you die I'm taking the entire week off