You know the insomnia episode is bad when you resign yourself to playing games in your head while you hope to fall asleep

Yeah I am talking about my trauma again

Chat I have kind of felt like a ghost in my own body all day. Is this a dissociative episode or have I contracted a rare and unknown disease

I think halos are an erogenous zone

I AM VACCINATED YEARLY AGAINST SEX SIN AND SMUT

Hi. Why do I need an AI overview telling me what the graph tells me. I know how to read a forecast, I have been doing it since I was a little kid

Sometimes I scroll through r/FDC just out of paranoia of being posted there (girl who got put on vent drama blogs in 2015 for DID stuff and never got over it) but there are so many people in that sub specifically that fundimentally do not believe in DID

American politics

I just know when I send this letter I am going to be the talk of the prayer group

I want to talk about the weird memory I got. But I do not know what to tag it as. Part of me is saying it needs a CSA tag and that upsets me but it is not like. CSA. I suppose it is adjacent. But. Like. Ugh. It has to do with my Grandmother and it keeps coming up in my brain and bothering me.

Doing a #promosky for fun My name is Zadkiel, I am an alter in a dissociative system. I use she/her, and I am an adult I post mostly bullshit. Memes, funny screenshots, oversharing personal anecdotes. I was raised in a cult and will sometimes talk about that. Sorry. I like Balatro a normal amount

.* ZADKIEL ༊ * ·˚ ⋆ ୨୧ ┄┈┄ she/her + ageless + bodily 26 ┄┈┄ ୨୧ ⋆ ABT ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Protector in a DID system ࿐ྂ DNF ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Christians, minors, homeschool parents, Proship, Zionist ࿐ྂ NOTE ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Engaged to @cherrycota.bsky.social 💛 ࿐ྂ

Every time I see any post anywhere there is some chucklefuck in the comments either making a rapture joke or earnestly saying the Lord will come back soon and can I just say I am tired. I am so tired.

imagine hating me and im just in my room doing this

Maybe my grandmother was not as abusive as I think

I do not know how to tag what I remembered the other day

All of this on top of me having unlocked a strange and uncomfortable memory regarding my grandmother is making my head spin. I need to go lay down

Ranting in replies.

Zadkiel 🪽@eschatology.bsky.social · 3d ago

Ran up to the mailbox and trashcan to toss a bag of trash and I realized I had not gotten the mail in a few days, so I grabbed that. There was a letter from my grandma and something on the literal first page triggered Will so instantly that I just. Popped in. So Hi.

Ran up to the mailbox and trashcan to toss a bag of trash and I realized I had not gotten the mail in a few days, so I grabbed that. There was a letter from my grandma and something on the literal first page triggered Will so instantly that I just. Popped in. So Hi.

Hate when I am dissociating because of an alter being in cocon but I cannot tell who and it is not Will.

I cannot stop thinking about this video. Axolotl from Minecraft

I love Dom so much. Every time I front I just fall more in love with them. I hope they know how wonderful they are

Also been convinced that my trauma is actually nothingburger lately. I just cannot conceptualize it as trauma. Other people have had it much worse. I was just a dramatic kid

I am still so stressed about that letter. I have not sent it yet. I am scared. What if it kills her.

I wanna be touched and grabbed and et cetera