Tickled by the idea of a bunch of jackals, hyenas and vultures working for a scrap/recycling outfit. Picking through the carcasses of old buildings for wire and pipe fittings. "What? You're just gonna throw that out? *hyena obsessively scooping up loose trimmings from an aluminum siding project*

Crazy to me that someone looked at the absolute disaster that is cybersecurity right now and was like "Hey I know, what if we invented computers that were vulnerable to social engineering?"

Furry conventions are like going to the prom for just the weird nerdy kids and that's why they're amazing 💜

Me: No thanks I’m not a whisky guy. Them: It’s bourbon. Me: Isn’t that, literally the same thing? Like it’s a champagne/parmesan thing? Them: I don’t know.

I love when there’s a big blast email that’s a callout of a behavior that I in particular am infamous for. I always have to wonder “Ok are they just extra-salty about me or is this behavior much more common than I thought?”

Thank you for using the OccultaObscura LLC Ritual Assistant! When your ritual concludes, if you are able to comprehend what you've unleashed on the world, please complete our five-question summoner satisfaction survey! If you are unable to comprehend it... Y̸̯̋õ̵̼ũ̷̮ ̸̛̫s̴̱̄o̶̝͒o̴͖̕ṋ̴͑ ̴͚̑ṣ̶̀h̸̚ͅȁ̸̹ḷ̶͘l̵̩̍ ̴̢̃l̶̺̔ę̵͑a̴͐ͅr̸͈͆n̸̥̏ Have a r'lyeh day!

Attempting to arrange a peaceful retirement for some smartbulbs whose automation support has been deprecated has inadvertently led to the Sick Rave Garage.

Ugh, so ridiculous that there are DOZENS of dangerous, potentially world-ending magical artifacts just like, kinda knockin' around. Nobody really sure where they're at or if anyone could be using them for something shady. It's bullshit! That would be like if here on earth- oh, right.

Makin' great first impressions on the new boss~ NB: You know the acquisition comes with a 3% raise for you. Me: Strong opener, what do you want? NB: Ah, well, yes actually. We uh, were hoping that you could help head up the transition team. Me: Sounds tedious and unrewarding. I'll see what I can do.

That moment when you throw a bunch of acid all over the shower and the limescale and gunk all vaporizes at once. It's very like "Take care, adventurer. For you have called the demon's true name. And it has heard you! You must be ready for all that entrails." "You mean entails?" "Perhaps, hehehee~"

Them: How have the allergy shots been going? Been thinking of getting on them myself. Me: Pretty well actually. The congestion has eased a lot and I basically don't get red or watery eyes anymore. T: Any downsides? M: Wanna find out what it's like if your muscles could itch? T:

Terrified Dog's Hilarious Reaction

Alt: Dog whose expression goes quickly from joy to being overwhelmed by the enormity of the endless void

static.klipy.com

Forcethemming

Delay-of-game is such a cardinal sin in Magic: the Gathering because you’re subjecting your opponent to having to play more Magic: the Gathering. Which is cruel, no one should have to do that.

We've had this technology for like two fuckin' years how are you already helplessly dependent on it?

Ayo@darrylayo.bsky.social · 3w ago

Guys like this don’t realize that they are the freak

So much of higher math is just like "Well we can't do this but we're gonna imagine that we can and see if we can bash our way to a solution before the math police find out that we're doing something illegal."

Boss: There's a company BBQ on Wednesday, all are welcome to attend! Me: Ok. It's from 11-2 and you assigned me 8 hours of work that day. Do I get a day off for this? Trying to double-commute this work wouldn't be practical. B: No do all your assigned work. But you can treat the BBQ as working hours

People keep making me to do breathplay with them, I’m literally becoming the Choker.

I've said before, the internet is really only useful for two things: 1. pictures of cats 2. pornography This is why furries are everywhere, running the internet and all. They're able to use the internet far more efficiently than anthropotypicals, since for them #1 and #2 can be the same thing

All the unlikeliest heroes emerging from this. Crackpot NIMBYs successfully fighting off AI datacenters. Apple sucking ass at AI and immediately giving up on it, which proved a winning long-term strategy. And now LinkedIn, where all the humans talk like awkward robots anyways...

Edd Coates | Game UI Database@eddcoates.bsky.social · 4w ago

LinkedIn added an "AI slop" button. The U-Turn is happening, expect to see a lot more of this from other tech companies.

Spice levels at this ramen joint are zero, zero, zero, zero and ha HAH! You have fallen for my trap!

Girls these days just wanna eat good meal and cause trouble

fwankie :100_Agender:@nerts.yiff.life.ap.brid.gy · last mo.

same

Everyone older than us is nostalgic for a past that never happened, and we were raised to expect a future that also never happened.

@onewickedwonka.bsky.social · last mo.

🎩 THIS! 👇

Pray for me I have to explain capacitive reactance to John Business whose specialty is business.

Torx are so funny. Just like "well we can't have any random idiot taking this apart. Advanced idiots only."

This one speaks to me

This has an extremely high-effort sequence of Link propelling himself skyward using a series of explosions, synchronized perfectly to God Shattering Star. It makes me want an isekai/shonen anime where the protagonist realizes that "video-game rules" includes physics exploits youtu.be/UYhcn85S3MY?...

10 Ways Link can make it up to that Divine Beast on his own.

YouTube video by Kleric

youtu.be

Friend shaped (so that the friend fits inside).

Oh you have a fetish that involves being told what to do? You like having rules that are clearly and directly articulated to you? You like someone overriding your decision paralysis and task inertia by having someone else's expectations on you? Yeah no I'm sure the autism diagnosis was a surprise

Me: Sure, I'll go grab it out of my truck. Boss: Your company car is a Ford Escape. Heh, do you call it a truck because that's manlier? Me: I call it a truck because SUV is a fake term they made up to evade emissions regulations. Boss: That is the kind of answer you would have.

"Don't worry, I've got it under control." Narrator: 'It' is the new pronoun of the one he's got strapped into the brainwashing machine.