Did the beautiful woman make you pay per song? Who wants to tell him the message may not be true?

If you could just snap your fingers and make five people disappear for good with absolutely no consequences to you, who would be the other four?

Dolly Parton was such an amazing human being that she passed away and nobody is talking about her boobs. That’s how amazing she was. Let’s see what happens when Sydney Sweeney passes.

Godzilla would crush Jesus. Why doesn’t anybody worship Godzilla? Let me guess, he’s not real? We can pick whoever we want. Know what? I’m pickin’ Godzilla.

The type of Christians and Muslims who have a problem with the LGBTQ community also have a problem with each other. Guess who’s not the problem.

Raise your hand if you don’t rape. Good for you. You’re already better than Donald Trump.

Donald Trump holding a press conference to rename a lake while flash-floods are killing thousands in Nepal is the peak of American exceptionalism. I’m an American, and we are a disgrace. If you’re not embarrassed to be an American right now, you’re not a patriot.

“You shouldn’t try to capitalize off of someone’s death.” As a Christian, are you sure about that? Isn’t your religion based on everybody capitalizing off of one dude’s death?

That would be a neurologist or a neurosurgeon.

I am an atheist and a secular activist. And I would just like people to know that if there were more Christians like Dolly Parton, there would be less people like me who feel the need to speak up against Christianity.

I’m OK with this. It seems I have disgraced the white race, anybody else wanna draft me?

A lot of Christians are saying it’s wrong for me to use Dolly Parton’s death to my advantage. But isn’t that precisely what they all do with Jesus? His death, your advantage. What’s the problem?

I am shocked at how many Christians are speaking negatively about Dolly. I guess she was just a little too Christ-like for the MAGA Christians.

Dolly Parton was a Christian and most non-believers loved her. A lot of us didn’t like Charlie Kirk because we thought he was an asshole with his Christianity, not because he was a Christian. If you have to be a Christian, be a Dolly Parton type of Christian.

There are two types of “good Christians.” The Dolly Parton type, who almost everybody loved. And the Charlie Kirk type, who only a specific type of Christian loved. Because one was a “good Christian” and the other was a good human.

Homophobic people tend to fight the label much harder than arachnophobic people do. Is Jake now both?

Even after he stole T'Challa from us? Nah. That’s an evil god and I refuse to worship it.

In Weird Science, he made fun of the science kids. Then he grew up and became Tony Stark. That’s Iron Man. Talk about irony. 🥁

I bet a lot of MAGA men would do the whole “It’s not cheating because it’s your dog” thing with “It’s not gay because he’s your president.”

“I love it when a plan comes together.” — The A-Team “Why don’t my plans ever come together?” — God

Why did Trump have to pay hush money to Stormy Daniels if he’s now allowed to have his side-pieces right in front of Melania?

Donald Trump has been an inspiration to many. Do you know how many horrible human beings finally feel free to be themselves? He did that for them. He gave them the confidence to be the assholes they truly want to be.

That’s so sad. He should love himself, even if he’s not the truth.

Almost as if we made those things to nail a human body to. ✝️🤪

Why do so many people think you can’t be a gay Christian or even a gay Muslim? Gay people can believe in stupid shit too.

Know who else the world will never accept and will always consider crazy? Crazy people.

There’s a difference between voting for a rapist and not caring about the fact that you’re voting for a rapist. I’ve probably voted for a pedophile and I’d be shocked if I haven’t voted for a rapist. But I’d never vote for either intentionally.

Abortion is a sacrifice that actually helps real people. A sacrifice to your god means nothing.

Jesus is doing a fantastic job of hiding himself. In fact, that seems to be the only thing he doesn’t need your help with.

Every other president lived inside of Abraham Lincoln? Gross.