Becky Holmes hates spinach

@deathtospinach.bsky.social

I only date celebs (inc. Keanu, Brad, Neeson, Jagger & Prince William), brave US peacekeeping soldiers in Syria or oil rig workers. First book out now 🎉

One of my gripes is how some (not all) media portray victims of fraud. I want to write some stories that show victims of fraud not as vulnerable idiots but as regular people, cleverly coerced. If you have been the victim of fraud and are willing to share your story, please DM me.

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Long term sex pest Greg has been quiet for a while so you can imagine how my heart leapt when I received a message last night Thank goodness my love is back If anyone can counsel me on how we might better communicate, I’d be grateful It’s always so full of misunderstanding

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It was kind of Collins Mc Donald to get in touch and offer his services to me as an (absolutely real and in no way a scammer - how dare you) expert in financial fraud He’d obviously become aware of my glorious romance with Keanu Reeves and mistaken it for a scam Silly man 🙄

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I’ve been away for a little while so you can only imagine my joy when I logged onto Instagram to see a message from long-term sex pest Greg asking me about my vagina As requested, I drew it for him But as usual, we seemed to miscommunicate and now he hasn’t replied 🙁

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Three and a half years ago, as part of the research for my first book, I logged onto Tinder searching for scammers Instead, I met this bloke He is the partner I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find And he still hasn’t asked me for an iTunes voucher!

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After telling long-term sex pest Coke Can Greg that I have been talking to a new man online, Greg asked that I get the man to message him so they can ‘have it out’ I can now introduce my newly created second Instagram profile: Carlsberg Can John Let the games begin…

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I feel really bad this morning Just as long-term sex pest Greg and I were chatting about Christmas presents and he was kindly modelling a compression sock that I’ve asked for, I spotted a worrying mole on his stomach I may have overreacted but it’s not my fault I care so much…