Y'know what's fun about being a mage? If you're the smaller one of the group, you can shrink EVERYONE down to the size of a tic-tac. Then you can FLATTEN 'em to the diameter of a dime by sitting on 'em. ...my poor friends can't go ONE day without being smooshed.
*mega mushroom sfx* 🦌
@vaporisuseless.bsky.social
Hi, my name is Vapor, and I'm terrible. But seriously, who am I? Just your (un)friendly macro deer with a big rear and even bigger attitude. BLEAT! 💢 Commissioner | Sona and commed art are mine | Loves tag teaming with other giants | Under 18? DNI.
"What's up?" Bluesky asks... What's up is me blocking the blue sky. AND your sunlight. And this is the bottom of my shoe rapidly coming DOWN.
Any zone around the big deer is a 'no fly zone' something some people have to learn the hard way~ 🍑🖐️✨ Comm for @vaporisuseless.bsky.social
Macro deer causing massive tsunamis and rip currents near your state all because he wanted to cannonball into the ocean-
The amount of clothes I have to go through with this damn thing... That's the problem with being a giant like myself. NOTHING FITS.
Y'know somethin'? I've always wondered how it'd go if Tali's Goldie and SD's sona (AJ) ever met...
Us bucks are known to shed antlers in the winter. It's as easy as just ripping it off and tossing it in the city. Not sorry for the property damage, by the way. YEARS from now, future civilizations will gather around it and see it as another wonder of the world.
Torrential rain in the area? Sorry...I got done washing my hands in the nearest waterfall. There wasn't any towels, so...your city looked like a nice placr to fling the water off to.
OOC: Apologies if I seem inactive on this account here and there. I usually can't think of anything hot to post sometimes.💧
Nothing's more fun than peeking into a skyscraper and seeing what's going on inside...even more fun is when you give it a shake for a scare. OR... *drops pants*...
You ever get so fed up with someone that you wanna just shrink 'em down and turn them into a vibrating plug? ...on my 9th one as we speak.
Messing around with the planets like they're Fushigi balls because I'm an asshole like that. ✨️
Traveling from country to country can be such a pain in the ass when you've got the Navy Seals and Coast Guard constantly attacking you while you're walking across the ocean. ...every single one meets my fingertips. Whether that be CRUSHED or flicked half the world away.
Normalize giving all your palm-sized pals a hard...HARD time on a daily basis. I don't make the rules, I just follow them to the utmost T.
Had a thought last night... Continuing on the trend of wearing Greco-Roman attire that @sizabledanger.hyper.wang suggested a while ago. Got me up in the stormclouds throwing it back, and every time it claps? A lightning bolt erupts out from below. Gotta give Zeus a run for his money.⚡️
People are gonna think it's about to pour rain whenever they hear thunder in the sky. Nope...just 2 giants appreciating a beautifully crafted spectacle.
About to give a new meaning to 'the shot heard 'round the world' multiple times when one of my giant buds spank this titanic tush multiple times.
Sometimes when I hear a nice pop rockin' banger like Someday (Glass Tiger), I get an urge...an urge to SING! ...of course, if I'm singing, EVERYONE in the country hears it whether they like it or not. Not like they can drown it out...a giant's voice carries from the east to the west coast.
How do I win every argument? Grab them by their shirt and dangle them over my front or backside. OR threaten to wallop them against either side until they admit I'm right OR let me get my way. Why else do I get the AUX cord/Bluetooth pairing for every road trip?
Thunder and earthquakes? But there's not a dark cloud in the sky! Where could it be coming fr- ...oh wait. It's just me throwing it back to spite everyone down there.
All these damned bots liking my posts need to experience a five finger complaint letter from this easily irritable giant buck. My fist ----> Whatever scummy HQ they reside at.
Comparing your girth size to the tallest buildings in the world is the biggest ego boost ever imaginable when you're bigger than all of 'em on a horny day. Even moreso when you realize that you can just knock it down like a Jenga tower with one side swipe of the dong.
This baby can fit just about anything inside it OR demolish just about anything too. -Toys -People (Smart OR stupid) -Buildings -Airplanes -Cars -Busses -National Landmarks -Rockets Basically either you, anything that makes anything convenient for you OR gives you the slightest sense of joy.
Sometimes I'll be grabbing my phone from my pocket and some loose change will fall out. Don't gotta worry about people stealing it since the last thing they see before they perish is a giant, metal portrait of Lincoln or Washington about to crush everything within a whateverthefuck-mile radius.
People say that flying is the quickest form of transportation? Me? All it takes is a couple steps and I'm in a completely different continent. ...not apologizing for those Grand Canyon sized footprints, by the way. Deal with it.
Hey, hey...got a joke for you. What's a giant's favorite food? MACRO-NI HA. Alright, shut up and get back in my underwear.
OOC: So many legends in the last couple of days... 👀
Waterfalls make for nice sinks...cleaning my hands of any leftover micros left on them. And the best part? If it's a tourist attraction, you can splash EVERYONE with an ABUSIVE amount of water. What're they gonna do about it? Screw 'em.
Hmmm...I wonder if there's any fellow macros out there who'd enjoy atomizing an entire city with me...