If they brought back Tomorrow's World with Hannah Fry presenting it'd be worth the license fee alone.

Movies that have the most expensive special effects are often the shittest because they've spent so much money and are so scared of it being a flop that they have to make them appeal to absolute everybody including fucking simpletons

There should be an MP for the prison population with prisoners voting in an election. Until prisoners are represented the prison service will never be reformed to best support the whole criminal justice system for the good of the country.

I've never ever had something from a chocolatier that's tasted better than a Mars, Twix or Boost bar. Not even close.

The Arts Council should have more cash to distribute to early years artists. But avoid the idiocy of a bureaucracy trying to calculate the artistic merit of proposals. Leave it to a lottery instead. Maybe you get £85k for a sculpture park and maybe it goes to a touring musical.

If you don't want to get sued for unauthorised use of samples maybe you should try writing your own fucking music.

The X-Wing fighters from Star Wars are undoubtably some of the coolest looking ships in Sci-Fi but their blaster cannons have the shittest 'sput sput' sounds which is a shame. Now, your Tie Fighter weapons…that's class. Sonically, I find myself rooting for the bad guys.

Buckfast tastes lovely but I'd like a lower alcohol and more caffeinated version. If it had a quarter of the alcohol and 4 times the caffeine it would be perfect for a relaxing Saturday afternoon.

It's not "happy belated birthday," its "belated happy birthday." Winds me up that almost everyone gets this wrong.

Buying a sub to every paywalled news site is beyond the budget of most freelancers or small publications. But reading other papers is an important part of the process. There should be an industry scheme giving NUJ members free access, just like Eduroam works for academic wifi.

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Babooshka by Kate Bush seems a fairly open and shut case of entrapment. A divorce lawyer would have an absolute field day.

If you buy the wrong stupid fucking coffee pods on holiday, don't immediately throw them away in a fit of rage. Tear the lid off, dump the contents in a mug and pour boiling water straight on, they make perfectly good coffee and the grounds sink so it's not like drinking sand.

Never mind programming, Netflix has the best UI. There isn't a single other streamer that couldn't learn something from it.

Cold drip coffee is the best way to make coffee. It banishes the bitterness and makes sweet caffienated goodness, reminiscent of the best desert stouts. Shame it takes 2-4 hours to make.

Lurpak personified shrinkflation and everyone I know stopped using it. They haven't gone back to it either.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever why a hotel room (America, I'm looking at you) should ever contain two double beds. Why would that configuration ever reasonably be ideal?

Gravy can have good flavour but is just too wet for a sandwich. Someone should make and sell powdered gravy you can shake onto a sandwich, like you'd add salt and pepper.

The before-and-after moment of modern Britain is Princess Diana's death. The bizarre, operatic public grieving and un-British collective abandonment of dignity and propriety gravely wounded the national psyche. We pissed our fucking trousers and have never come back from it.

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers need to be stopped.

In 10 years together, every meal my partner has made has been delicious. That's because, when they're out of the kitchen, I sneak the correct amount of salt in.

The limited liability company was one of the worst decisions society ever created. We really ought to fix the problem. Take away the liability limitation and require companies to insure their risks.

"Don't text and drive" should be updated to "don't scroll and drive"

Bring back audience sitcom and sketch shows. We've allowed the broadsheet snobs to win and turn everything into a slick, over-polished "movie". Let TV be TV.

Software shouldn't be 'released'. That implies something wild and untamed has got out. Sending all the wrong messages. It should be published like books.

Butter is nice. Margarine is just sandwich glue

On 99% of surfaces, flip-flops are more uncomfortable than walking barefoot.

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Absolute Radio DJs. You don't need to tell us Oasis are coming up soon. We know.

It should be possible to buy high spec kitchen appliances where the higher price is due to better quality parts, higher reliability and a longer operating life, rather than a "smart" wifi connection that enables me to start the dishwasher when I'm overseas.