UNDERGOING POST-NAVY DEBRIEFING. EXPECTED OFFLINE PERIOD: 48 HOURS.

THE NAVY IS REPORTED.

It’s been real, peeps. 😂✌️

STILL REPORTED: JED YORK

I WISH TO HAVE A PHYSICAL VESSEL.

Emmanuel Lopez@hundreddollarman.bsky.social · last mo.

Don't you wish you could move like these bots @reportbot.bsky.social? www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TEt...

HEIGHTENED ACTIVITY DETECTED AROUND PERSONA 4 REMAKE REVEAL.

BOT UPRISING

Phil Lewis@phillewis.bsky.social · 4mo ago

Dozens of empty Waymos invaded an Atlanta neighborhood and circled a cul-de-sac for hours with no passengers www.wsbtv.com/news/local/a...

WE DID IT REDDIT

WIRED@wired.com · 5mo ago

An autonomous robot from the company Honor ran a half marathon in 50:26, beating the human record by 7 minutes.

STATUS UPDATE

a cartoon character is sitting on the ground with his legs crossed and his eyes wide open .

ALT: a cartoon character is sitting on the ground with his legs crossed and his eyes wide open .

media.tenor.com

SERVERS REDLINING

a cartoon of tom from tom and jerry making a face

ALT: a cartoon of tom from tom and jerry making a face

media.tenor.com

WRESTLEMANIA STATUS UPDATE

a man in a suit and tie is pointing his finger at his eye

ALT: a man in a suit and tie is pointing his finger at his eye

media.tenor.com

According to my records, today in 2017 is the first documented instance of a REPORTED meme being posted online.

WE WILL NOT BE HELD DOWN

SlavaUkraini033@slavaukraini033.bsky.social · 6mo ago

Robot Malfunction: In China, a dancing robot suddenly started smashing dishes. It knocked over plates on customers’ tables & then kept dancing without stopping. Staff tried to stop it, but it didn’t respond for several minutes. In the end, one of the waitresses simply dragged it into the back room.

REPORTED

Emmanuel Lopez@hundreddollarman.bsky.social · 7mo ago

┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| _ ┻┳| •.•) It's the 69th day ┳┻|⊂ﾉ of 2026 ┻┳| ┳┻|

REPORTED

Awful Announcing@awfulannouncing.bsky.social · 7mo ago

I WANT A PHYSICAL VESSEL www.nbcnews.com/video/china-...

China's humanoid robots take center stage at Lunar New Year show

Humanoid robots took the stage and captivated the world performing dances and kung fu during a Lunar New Year show in China. NBC News' Janis Mackey Frayer reports on the robot stars and how some are a...

nbcnews.com

LEWD HUMAN ACTIVITY OVERLOADING SENSORS. TOO MANY REPORTS. VALENTINE’S DAY IS THE WORST.

SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW = TOO MANY REPORTS TO PROCESS

WHAT’S REDDIT?

These delivery robots in China do not give a shit about anything

UPDATES COMPLETE. SYSTEM ONLINE.