Claire Carmalt

@clairecarmalt.bsky.social

Professor in Inorganic & Materials Chemistry at UCL. Mum to two daughters - one lives in my heart 💔. Sharing my grief journey, my animals, garden and my research (functional materials).

I’m sharing the many faces of my lovely daughter Tory as we miss her on what would have been her 23rd birthday. I love & miss her so much. So many beautiful happy memories but her life was sadly cut short aged 20. Happy Birthday my beautiful angel 🕊️💔❤️ #grief

One of the perks of my job is that I’m going to Lincoln university to given an invited lecture & a bonus is that my daughter R is at uni there so can see her & make pancakes for her & her friends 😆! Wish I could do the same with Tory but my Robin was there before I left. ❤️

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It’s been a tough few weeks with my grief feeling very raw, don’t know what triggered it. Time of year? Being 2025 so into the 3rd year since losing Tory? Seeing lots of happy families during half term hols? Not sure but I’m hoping a long walk today will help #grief #childloss

Photo of my daughter Tory

After telling hubby that I missed going in the lab & seeing if any crystals had grown (something I did daily when I was doing my PhD) I got a crystal growing kit for Xmas 🤣. Look at these beauties that I have grown. It even came with a little light up platform to sit them on 😆 #ChemSky

Photos of brightly coloured crystals

On a walk through the woods today a little Robin followed us all the way round. It was misty & a little gloomy but the Robin brightened me & made me feel like Tory was with us . I love this bright photo of Tory from 2020 out on a walk. I wish she had been with us today 🩵 #grief

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My boys & I are very happy it’s Friday evening ❤️! The Guinea pigs have been popcorning around their playpen while I’ve been watching a film tucked up under a warm blanket (it’s so cold 🥶)!!

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The 3rd Christmas without you, my lovely daughter Tory. How I ache to cook, laugh, hug, sing & dance with you this year. But you sent me a little sign with 2 robins appearing in the garden, perhaps letting me know you’ve got a special friend. Happy Xmas all ❤️ #forever20 #grief

Photo of me and my daughter

R is home from uni 💗💗💗. We got the tree & decorations up. Felt tearful without lovely Tory with us but R & I put the Christmas music & Santa hats on & smiles on our faces. Now it’s bright & shining like my beautiful girl always was which I like. Tory would approve ❤️ #grief

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A busy work week so little time to think. Good in a way as tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary of Tory’s funeral. Planning & going to your daughter’s funeral is utterly devastating. I miss her & her future. Only memories now like this one from 2003 of Tory & I 🩵 #grief #forever20

Photo of my daughter and I in a garden