Shane💀Blackheart (they/them)

@shaneblackheart.com

Author of dark LGBTQ+ speculative fiction & poetry. Artist. 30s. Nonbinary. They/them. Plural. AuDHD. ♿️ Disabled. Website: https://shaneblackheart.com

If the universe could fuckin chill for A FEW DAYS I'd appreciate it. I haven't slept in 2 weeks for more than 2-4 hours a night. I'm chronically ill. My cats are being repeatedly traumatized & uprooted and I have agoraphobia & ptsd related to homelessness and loss. I'm actively in a MH crisis.

Email about having to move hotels twice more this month.

D2D is going to start charging me their bogus fee to keep my books listed in October. I can't afford another bill, so all my work will be taken down from wide distribution because I'm not even selling enough to buy something from a dollar menu. Made 80 cents this month, for example. Usually it's $0.

Some semi-good news and some bad news. Bad: emotional support animals are no longer protected like service animals are, so places here can reject them. This means there will be a pet fee at the hotel, but the apartment insurance should cover it.

I finally opened up the manuscript for book 3, the last book, in The Requiem Series. The last time I'd opened it was October of last year, back when I nearly took my own life. It kind of faded into the background and I got caught up in healing work afterward. Seeing it tonight, though...

I'm exhausted from all the stress and my current displacement crisis, but I have been writing a lot of poetry. It seems to be the only way I can express my emotions that have otherwise numbed on the outside. Survival mode's a hell of a drug. My case manager disappeared too, so I'm just... 🫠

It's been a wild few months, but last weekend and yesterday has taken the cake. My life has been upended in the worst way and I need some help. I've lost a support option, and I am living in a hotel for possibly up to three months as my apartment was damaged by a severe plumbing disaster. 🧵 1/?

I'm working on something that has me so excited. I'm writing a goth theatrical musical about dissociating so hard a creature ends up in a strange blue void in his living room, and it has campy vibes that feel like RHPS. It's all written in verse, of course, so it'll take ages but! I'm excited! 🤩

Last night, the poem went through a major revision and I finished it. I'm so happy with it. I put a lot of effort into this one, I refused to let the brain fog stop me. I'll post the final version soon 💜 It's a lot spicier, but all in 'garden' metaphor.

Shane💀Blackheart (they/them)@shaneblackheart.com · 3mo ago

Finally, after weeks of terrible brain fog and worsening chronic illness, I started to write a poem last night. It's not done yet, I think I want it to be longer, but it's something. I'm so glad my brain still works creatively, even when I'm struggling to focus 💜

I once dreamed of you
late in the night,
your hands on my skin
and our bodies close,
rocking to a beat
that matched our hearts

A secret held
as you held me;
a key to a blooming garden
I didn't know was mine

When you joined me
in the garden,
we both turned the key,
and the blooming swelled
as the air trembled

You mapped my skin
like tracing constellations,
your fingertips sparking
shimmering stars over the garden

Finally, after weeks of terrible brain fog and worsening chronic illness, I started to write a poem last night. It's not done yet, I think I want it to be longer, but it's something. I'm so glad my brain still works creatively, even when I'm struggling to focus 💜

I once dreamed of you
late in the night,
your hands on my skin
and our bodies close,
rocking to a beat
that matched our hearts

A secret held
as you held me;
a key to a blooming garden
I didn't know was mine

When you joined me
in the garden,
we both turned the key,
and the blooming swelled
as the air trembled

You mapped my skin
like tracing constellations,
your fingertips sparking
shimmering stars over the garden

Fingers crossed the adult filter actually works on this. I've seen enough art like mine under adult content that I figure I'm probably alright finally posting some of my pieces. This one is an illustration for my webnovel Polaris Skies

So I remembered that Affirm exists and it has been the only thing that has enabled me to get nice things for years, so I bought Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream using Affirm, meaning $0 up front and cheap payments over 6 months. So I get to play 🥲

there is a beauty in it, you see. I can imagine anything in the void. there are conversations happening behind your wildest dreams in the abyss. what prophecies and heresies do you hear in your chasm?

Bild