my all time favourite friendly insult has gotta be Dizzy Bitch - it’s truly perfect! “oh you’re such a dizzy bitch!” come on! thrilling! tag a dizzy bitch in your life
Grace Jarvis
@gracejarvisohno.bsky.social
I am a stand-up comedian and that is okay https://linktr.ee/gracejarvis
I don’t know anything really about the plot, content or vibe of the show Entourage, but I gotta say? I think it’s pretty fun to have a friend called Turtle
this boiled egg is so far from “cheeky” this boiled egg is a savage and ruthless villain he is a wicked wicked egg
The only thing worse than nobody noticing you is somebody acknowledging your stupid, embarrassing existence, a study has revealed.
Study finds only thing worse than being ignored is being perceived
The only thing worse than nobody noticing you is somebody acknowledging your stupid, embarrassing existence, a study has revealed. The study, conducted by researchers who had reportedly “run out of…
thedailytism.com
AI could never write an email as cowering and apologetic as I can
today at work a woman handed me a £15 battery-operated bullet vibrator and earnestly asked what the difference was between that and the £90 Lelo vibrator she had been looking at earlier and I ran out of customer service mode entirely in that moment and just stood there and said, “it’s not as good”
a huge part of working retail for me is just working myself up to listen to the censored versions of some of the worst music ever made for eight consecutive hours - it’s like being aurally waterboarded by the radio for minimum wage
during the London heatwaves this summer, we left our windows open one night and a fox came inside and did a shit in the shape of a Matisse
the computer is sending people into actual delusional psychosis and yet my file name still cannot include any of the following characters: / / : * " < > | ???? you've become too powerful in the wrong direction, computer! think of the accurate labelling we could do together!
“trust your instincts” you mean the ones convinced that “having toenails” is a grievous condition I must cure myself of?
I think the worst part about being in pain every day of my life since I was 14 (apart from The Agony) is how often other people are somehow mad at ME about it
just walked past a huge crowd of people gathered in a circle and filming on their phones and because I’m at a fringe festival I assumed it was some kind of street performer, but it turned out to be a man being pinned face down on the road by upwards of six Scottish policemen
We sent @sarahbpolar.bsky.social to see @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social's show 'Getting Dragged Backwards Through a Hedge' at the Edinburgh Fringe, and she had a marvellous time!
Very funny to see 'where is Australia's Zohran Mamdani' discussions that don't mention the fundamental fact it is obscenely harder for a brown skinned person to make it to an equivalent leadership position in Australia
unfortunately, to me, watching people do weird shit in a basement at a fringe festival is the meaning of life
I was staying with @casscasspaige.bsky.social when I recorded this and at one point she thought I was getting genuinely upset and reached over to comfort me and then realised and went, “oh ACTING”
The Daily Tism@thedailytism.com · 2mo agoNo affiliation!!!! Please don’t sue us. @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social guest stars in this week’s It’s a Superpower??
just realised I feel Very Young (I’m a child lost in the woods with none of the right words or skills to get myself out) because I am Very Young (there’s a long, sun scorched road ahead of me and I can choose to keep walking every moment I’m alive)
your middle school friend who just turned 13 and suddenly needs to make you feel bad for still doing all the stuff you’ve been doing together for years:
all these AI company freaks are genuinely just pushing themselves onto us more and more and more because they think eventually we’ll give up and let them fuck us - we are being culturally raped by these rich, evil Thunderbirds puppets come to life to imperil a college campus and then the world
it’s cool that like six of the richest guys in the world are allowed to hold every other persons, like, pensions and superannuation hostage over a technology that no one asked for or wanted and is literally removing them from the employment that made it possible to contribute to that superannuation
a glory hole but for stroking peoples hair in a calming manner
The first ad for It’s a Superpower?? is now live! This is the first ever sitcom made by & for autistic people - please share far & wide. Search for It’s a Superpower?? on your favourite podcast platform to make sure you’re subscribed & to hear the full-length ad! 📷 @frasergeesin.bsky.social
I was saving my last chocolate bilby from Easter because I miss Australian chocolate so much when I’m in the UK and the London heat has THWARTED my treat
got my period wearing spanx at a wedding reception while Robyn’s Dancing On My Own was playing - some incredibly, industrial-strength womanhood for a Friday night