President Donald Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Trump
Shots overheard at Correspondents’ Assn. dinner, Secret Service says that president’s ear is unharmed and with loved ones. Suspect in custody, K. McAllister of Winnetka, Il., reportedly armed with a shovel and paint bucket.
No Bad Stuf Ordinarily, I’d do a little copy editing before heading out, but maybe pitching it at Trump’s reading level will get through? #nokings
CALM DOWN. Did Trump just assassinate a sitting head of state? Yep. Wouldn’t that legitimize foreign powers doing the same to him? No! Following the airstrikes, Trump strategically deployed “no tag-backs,” as well as invoking, “I have a forcefield” and “not it not it not it.” 4D CHESS.
At the Northridge No Kings protest. Kid made his own sign. Despite being in full agreement with the sentiment, for a number of reasons we asked that he redact the f-bombs.
“We will never waver in safeguarding the right to religious liberty, upholding the dignity of life, and protecting God in our public square.” -some orange dipshit, earlier this year
Real talk? GWAR *not* disemboweling a sitting president is waaaaaaay more of an insult. Also, this is my first time hearing about Libs of TikTok - who, I guess, makes a living doing this? Is there a term for people who are career trolls? Rage engineers? Vex workers? Post-itutes?
Foolproof way for Israel to get everyone’s mind off of all that genocide: Host a Wrestlemania! They could replace the steel cage with an Iron Dome, they could have a Money in the West Bank match. What fun! Now, is $250 million a lot to pay WWE to whitewash war crimes? Dunno - ask Saudi Arabia.
Question for the parents: Is it considered child abuse to cancel Disney Plus? Because they just pulled Kimmel off the air indefinitely for saying some real innocuous shit.
It’s appalling that the gang warfare of these white savages has spilled over into polite society. If these ignorant children want to keep killing each other, they should go back to the Caucasus mountains where they came from.
This white-on-white violence is out of control. Remember when we could go to go to school without the fear of being caught in the crossfire of a Turning Point/Groyper shooting? Why aren’t the police doing more about these out of control gangs?
Charlie Kirk didn't die because of the bullet. He died largely because of a drug overdose.
THINGS RFK JR. BELIEVES CAUSE AUTISM Vaccines Aspirin Voting for Democrats Scary movies Crossing your legs Cardboard boxes Scary Movie Being an “uppity bitch just because someone says you have a nice ass” Washing your hands Scary Movie 3 Alligators Crying (men only) Not crying (women only)
Do you think rappers who are in the closet about loving cops have, like, a secret code? Do they call themselves Friends of O’Malley? Do they have to come out to their grandparents and explain why the cop that sicced dogs on them in the ‘60s were decent people, actually?
HOLY SHIT this episode of Strange New Worlds is like if ‘80s SNL did a 60-minute sketch about autistic people. I know posting opinions about Trek online is kind of like driving a coal-burning Cybertruck through a living room full of orphans, but gottDAMN I haven’t seen an ep this bad in years.
Me, when I see someone NOT wearing a Hawaiian shirt at this Weird Al concert:
a man in a trench coat and tie is standing in front of trees in a park .
ALT: a man in a trench coat and tie is standing in front of trees in a park .
media.tenor.com
Honestly, this won’t affect my life in the least. If ever there were a restaurant giving “We Would Bring Back Slavery if We Could,” it’s fucking Cracker Barrel.
TIL the first renaissance faire took place on Vineland near Ventura. The land is now a building full of $2000 studios next to a Ralphs. I can’t imagine anything more Los Angeles than that.
Old and Busted: watching The Sandman on Netflix and comparing it to the books The Nü Hottness: watching The Sandman on Netflix and comparing it to the weird shit we now know about Neil Gaiman Biographical criticism is the Gossip Girl of literary academia and I love it.
CBS fires Colbert and, two days later, they get their merger. I would’ve waited at least a week so it wasn’t as obvious that this was a straight up bribe - but I guess that’s why I’m not a convicted felon. www.pbs.org/newshour/eco...
FCC approves Paramount's $8 billion deal with Skydance, capping months of turmoil
The stamp of approval from the Federal Communications Commission comes after months of turmoil revolving around President Donald Trump’s legal battle with “60 Minutes,” the crown jewel of Paramount-ow...
pbs.org
Merry 4th everyone! I’m celebrating my independence from Knowing Is Half the Podcast* by guesting on another podcast! Have a listen! _________ * I will resume my co-dependent 9-year relationship with KIHTP after the three-day weekend
Erin Whitehead@girlwithatail.bsky.social · last yr.All new COLLEGE TOWN❗️feat. Sydney Steinberg & @999rpms.bsky.social! Hosted by Jan & Beebo (Seth Morris!) Mommy issues!? Jerky bitches!? A corgi for Jan!?!? Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social exclusively for @cbbworld.bsky.social www.comedybangbangworld.com
Four score and 28 months ago (9 years), us fathers (and a mother) brought forth, on this continent, a new podcast, conceived in inebriety, and dedicated to the proposition that all cartoons are created equal. Which doesn’t explain why some of them are so gawdawful, but you gotta start somewhere.
