Onyx (Human Disaster)

@thekilljoyz.bsky.social

We love bones & knives | We're still in our MCR phase Organizer for Live From The Apocalypse TTRPG Performer Writer Fully feral ☕️ https://ko-fi.com/thekilljoyz

One of the hardest things over the past year has been the realization that we're not in a place to engage with the content and themes in TTRPGs/LARPs that we used to love. We know that may change as we work on recovery but right now we need to be mindful of triggers and more cautious.

Chronic fatigue and pain, autistic burnout, and trauma symptoms make an exhausting combination to live with 🫠 We are so tired of being exhausted and drained all the time. Bonus points for the fun of trying to explain to disability why all of these factors make it impossible to work right now.

Feeling so much grief as the upcoming anniversary approaches. I didn't know that barely a month later everything would fall apart and a year later, people I shared a beautiful memory with would no longer be a part of my life.

It's been almost a year since things fully crumbled and that's hard to sit with. There has been so much loss and grief and old trauma resurfacing and new trauma happening. We're definitely in a better place than we were but there is still so much further to go and some days that feels exhausting.

It's been really hard to come to terms with the fact that many of the fears I had were true. Out of sight, out of mind. The moment you stop doing things for people, they decide you're dead to them. The moment you slow down, everything crumbles. 2025 and 2026 have been sadly illuminating.