just met macklemore at my local DSA chapter and when i told him medical transition felt like an impossible obstacle he pulled out his phone and called my gender champion at kaiser permanente and had me approved for SRS in 30 minutes 😭

this dude obsessed w me

fortnite needs to make the chunk chug real

MY HOMIE WAS PISSING AND HE SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED??

can my dog come? “is she chill?” idk u tell me

I just read a letter I received from a divorce mediator as “da worst meditator” the Reiki Americans are tirrrrreed.

staring at my bro’s leftover joy like “hey man are you gonna cherish that?” and he just said nah go ahead that’s all you

i just used klarna to finance my full color caricature at the zoo

I recently did a Reiki session with my debt collector and it was so influential that he not only completely nullified it, but quit his job to pursue his passion of authoring children’s dystopian fiction.

Im so fucked. I’m so fucked. My parence just walked in on me practicing mindfulness exercises

new interactive text story for ferecoda 😊 you can read it here and it works on phones also ferecoda.com/Lines/MinetT...

fere✦coda@ferecoda.com · 4w ago

MinetTEL 1 ferecoda.com/Lines/MinetT...

my tail is wagging a war on dust

When I die spread my ashes over the sneeze guard at my favorite coffee shop

can i be excused my demons are winning

i wished to win the claw game but i threw my last quarter in the fountain

have you ever had a near-life experience

mother earth i still fw you but the climate really changed you

the best buy support chat bot just gave my cousin ai psychosis

the worlds shortest sad story if it was made today: For sale, Meckior Baby Boys Girls Lace Up Leather Sneakers Toddler Wedding Uniform Dress Shoes Soft Rubber Sole Infant Moccasins Newborn Anti-Slip Oxford Loafers First Walker Crib Shoes, never worn.

i like cereal because i get thirsty when i eat

“Olive Drab,” final thing. General content warning. 1/4

stop eating spiral fries with the viral guys and come eat dog chow with a lolcow

more film shot

i foraged a mushroom that made me symmetrical in certain directions 💃🕺

i took 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 damage and lived

sick of acid reflux i’m just trying to get massive vbucks

swag stands for secretly we are guppies

in 1984 i was hospitalized for eating my breakfast

i wanted to make a donation to the aquarium but my anxiety + adhd makes it scary to talk on the phone. instead i bought all the betta fish in the pet smart (they gave me a hansome discount) and left them at the front door. being neurospicy doesn’t mean i can’t be helpful :3

Who enabled who? heart-shaped bumper sticker