Sometimes I think I’m messy but then a top invites me over to his place and I’m like okay I’m literally Marie Kondo.
when I’m doing stand up on stage and I’m panicked scrolling through the notes app on my phone looking for a joke to say? that’s what I mean by doom scrolling
Did a photo shoot and got the pics back today and just as i suspected.. I’m ugly
Bjork: I’m a fountain of blood in the shape of a girl Me: I’m mental illness in the shape of a blob
I’m done being the first person to message on Grindr. From now on I’m offer only.
I walked into an audition and as soon as they started filming my nose started bleeding
TikTok is a great tool for people to tell each other to put a snack in the freezer and then eat it cold
Please share my fundraiser for @jayarner.bsky.social with your most famous and rich friends, followers, enemies, associates etc. We’ve got 59% more to go! www.gofundme.com/f/help-jay-a...
Being straight by being at the gym and not wearing earbuds/headphones
Whenever a random song mentions Christmas I’m like oh is it that time of year?
When I lived in Taiwan I would see people bring boba tea at the gym
Satan @thedevil.bsky.social · last yr.
Literally so proud of Katy Perry and what she accomplished up in space for 11 minutes today. She DID that and that’s why I’m a Katy cat!!! 🐱
I follow too many random people on instagram. Someone will be like “new hair who dis” and I’ll be like ya actually who is dis?
Using AI generated images as your Grindr profile is soooo sick and twisted please get help!!!