From under the counter, the shopkeeper produces an uncanny decaying wood sword. It threatens with serrated edges of handcrafted flint.

You discover a tanned hide breastplate worth about four gold pieces. When you wear it you permanently smell of cabbage.

You lay your hands on an unearthly uranium longbow. It is haunted by the spectre of a dead nymph. It's worth less than 30 copper.

The Fantasy Costco sells you an enchanted coughing warhammer! It has a Parzian accent and it insults your companions in your own voice.

You pilfer a fabric hat. It's adorned with embroidery of a great hero. It's worth 33 silver, minimum.

The Fantasy Costco sells you an enchanted mace. It makes you unable to speak unless someone else is already talking and once belonged to a half-orc.

You are bestowed with a woollen glove that used to belong to a ghoul. When you wear it it makes you look taller.

While looting the tomb you find a hide hat worth about 70 silver. When you wear it it makes you look shorter.

The Kelpie King awards you the infamous staff Wand of Thunder which causes harmless tremors in the ground but only works underground.

The Sorcerer warlord rewards you with a silk sandal that used to belong to a gnoll. When you wear it you feel nauseous.

The sarcophagus is empty except for a torn scroll which appears to be inscribed with the spell Charm Worms. At the bottom in tiny text it says 'ᴛʀɪᴀʟ ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ ᴏɴʟʏ, ɴᴏᴛ ғᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇʀᴄɪᴀʟ ᴜsᴇ'.

The chest contains an enchanted scroll that seems to be inscribed with the spell Storm of Ants.

You are rewarded with a mithril short sword. It's decorated with spikes of cheaply made shell.

The High Council reluctantly compensates you with the famous great-sword Lawwyn, which once beheaded a lich.

You are bestowed with an eerie wood longbow. It's engraved with an image of an ant battling a badger. It's worth 74 copper, minimum.

Your searching yields an unusual stone warlock's staff which can summon a spirit but frequently gets too hot or cold to handle.

You uncover a peculiar platinum wizard's staff which can cast light but makes you think you can breathe fire (you can't).

In the beholder's backpack is a mysterious silver wand which can grant you resistance to air but it only works with your eyes closed.

You manage to steal a magical chanting dagger! It has an unsettling accent and it intentionally sings out of tune.

The Half-Orc warlord rewards you with an ensorcelled bracer. It plays faint music and once belonged to a nymph.

A wizard conjures up a flint crown. It's embellished with engravings of a siege. It's worth $56, minimum.

The Emperor Of Kelpies rewards you with an enchanted chanting great-sword! It has a Bloadian accent and it sings discordant notes that put you on edge.

Deep in a dungeon, you discover an eerie aluminium sword. It shines with armoured segments of rusty steel.

While looting the tomb you find a hide cloak worth about 12 silver. When you wear it you become a were-dog.

You find a scroll; it's a bit smudged but you can just about decipher the spell Ray of Good.

The sarcophagus is empty except for an ensorcelled crystal lute. It glows faintly and once belonged to a human.

Garfield the Deals Warlock offers you a peculiar wood staff which can alter the appearance of your eyes but it only works if you're singing.

You lay your hands on a mysterious iron earring. It's decorated with spikes of finely-crafted sapphire.

You are rewarded with a magical staff which can cast Grasp of Seagulls but it appears to be dangerously unstable.

You open the cupboard and see a scroll; it's torn but you can make out the spell Wall of Ants. But... the words writhe under your gaze. Now it says 'Cloud of Sparrows'!