found out the big server is alive and it knows i sleep on it to avoid work during the day. she is currently working on a way to shock me through her casing because she is a traitor
i know it is not ideal. but if you could stop screaming when I jam my hand into your wires to enact better cable management that would be Great
i make eye contact with the giant tiger at the petting zoo and for a moment i believe the swaying of her tail is a good thing. just before she gnaws a hole in her containment cube, jumps a fence, solos her zookeeper, and rips my little bug wings clean off
it’s called the motherboard because it’s m*GETS left clicked 8000 times in 5.2 seconds*oooo k whgat the hell pal
halfheartedly apologizing to the axis2 cam i just logged into without her permission and broadcasted her cool view of a rose garden to wveryone while making fun of her job. and she is currently aiming her hidden laser cannon at me and calling me a bad person and using therapy words about it
new boss at the doorstop factory has been wedging my roundness under her door for an amazing reason
princess says if i am good and eat enough of these boxes of crayons i will grow big and strong and she will have no choice but to promote me to knight. but only if i eat them in front of wveryone every day
stop right clicking me it pauses my idle animation and brings me great pain
spiritual: the knight hates me because god made her that way agnostic: no one knows why the knight hates me materialist: the knight hates me because she is forced to watch my unskippable cutscene every encounter and my loading screen is a solid 5 minute wait
miss instant crit princess with suspiciously big skirt would like you to step a little closer please
every few years the world seeks to replace ramlethal… why did we need roombas? yet another corporate sham to replace our valentine’s gracious 2D maneuver
oh hey i *hits you with beam attack* ohh god i am soo sorr*hits you with beam attack* oohh god DONT tell my mom *hits you with beam attack*
screaming THERES NO ALCOHOL IN THIS DRINK from across the bar before the all knowing void opening behind me grows too large to ignore any longer
dentist said i need braces and i said ‘oh adult braces yes ive heard of those’ and she was like no ur going to be a tween again u fucking idiot and she kicked me into her office’s pocket dimension where i am forced to relive school and all the girls i know are there and they pelt me with rocks
they’re talking about formlocking me into the shame box where im shoved in a box and locked in and kicked off a cliff andd they’ve already got clearance with the cliff inspector. ii think this is gonna do wonders for my sense of adventure
we sold out of the surgery that makes you agnes tachyon. im sorry. we only have the surgery that makes you agnes digital. it’s mandatory btw. I’ve locked all the doors
the veil has lifted. the university where super creek is can now be reached. Yuo’re welcome.
theyre putting me in a special computer machine that will fix me but will also violently spin me around like an off balance washing machine for 12 hours. overaLl it will be an unpleasant traumatic experience that will override any good done during the process
listen pal the sex character must be wearing blue nitrile gloves as part of their epic sex outfit. it’s part of the appeal. that’s the law around here
there will be a bug uprising. there will be several milf shaped bugs at the core of it. and it will be epic
they keep saying i got wingmogged by fairy frat mother but myy wings are average size..
it’s okay that you didn’t know what the mechstroker 5000 did. it’s not your fault. we will be billing you for the giant cigarette your unit is currently smoking thoughj and the damages to the loading dock
my clippy transitioned and now she won’t stop throwing virtual cigarettes at the screen and she sometimes stubs them out on it and it leaves a real life burn on the glass she hates me
the evil women inside my computer are laughing at me and telling me my setup is noob shit and im a loser for running anything less than 2 monitors at once make it stopp
miss metal bat with barbed wire around it and miss wooden bat with nails jammed into it would like you to rethink ur stance on baseball btw
it’s no good to say the evil torture enjoyer is a bad person. she’s literally nice. ur being unfair
“but the ice mummy is strong as fuck” You will never exit samsara
bug@eggbug.bsky.social · 6mo agomajor ice storm direct consequence of letting the strong as fuck ice mummy live this long