Electrovator

@electrovator.bsky.social

Writer. Musician. Father. General Nice Guy. 28 Years Old. Sick of existing. No one cares about me.

I am tired. This abscess in my neck has gotten progressively worse. It is uncomfortable, it is making it difficult to breathe, and it feels like no one is doing anything. I can't see an oral surgeon till November 11th and that's just for a consolation. I've thought about suicide.

I always feel like I'm singled out and treated like how I feel means nothing. I feel like the world wants me to pretend all that I feel doesn't exist and just function like a normal person despite the fact I can't.

I am fucking Livid. Since having to give away my dog, my EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL, I've been watching one of my all time favorite shows on Netflix, Superstore, cause it is a comfort show. It has been my only coping mechanism these few weeks. And now, Netflix removes it out of nowhere. Fuck you!

Having to give her to someone else feels like she died. I know I can still see her from time to time, but nevertheless I've lost her. She was my dog, she was so important to me. Now I feel so empty. Every day I think I see her, or hear her. I'll see her out of the corner of my eye but she's gone.

I had to rehome my dog, my emotional support dog, because the upstairs tenant complained her hair was too long, I raise my voice (to teach her, cause I wouldn't hit her), and supposedly didn't walk her despite walking her 4 times a day. I'm all alone again.. I am broken.. This has destroyed me..

Only one person bothered to say happy father's day to me. One person in 3 fucking years. And only because they saw me point out that no one did. I do not matter. That is abundantly clear. Apparently how I feel, my pain, my suffering, my wants or needs, is all fucking irrelevant.

So Playstation fucked up today. Apparently people are seeing games they've never played show up on their profiles with absurd hours. For ME though, my profile is showing I have never played any games, and it's pissing me off.

BildBildBild