If anything, The Lighthouse Family steered me towards rock.

When you bump into an ex and they don’t look that great, and it makes you feel a lot better about yourself. One of my exes is currently experiencing that.

I see you Madeley, with Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass. I see you Madeley…

That explains why it’s still under my pillow.

That explains why it’s still under my pillow.

The cup’s massive!

Haven’t seen Valentín Barco during this game?

Right, bring on Salt Bae.

Argentina are the worst football side since that Lion’s team in Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

Now park the bus… trust me, it never fails.

This game’s so dull my family and I had talked more than we have in years. It’s like not having the telly on at all.

The Isle of Man’s best friend is the Isle of Dogs.

We should claim victory in the Hundred Years’ War after this match.

Napalm Death have done a Tiny Desk Concert. www.npr.org/2026/07/15/g...

Napalm Death: Tiny Desk Concert

Napalm Death's ongoing campaign for musical destruction comes to the Desk. The founding fathers of grindcore speed through a sprawling catalog with manic energy.

npr.org

Rice looks like Pitch Black from Rise of the Guardians.

Enola Gay’s on the radio. There’s a blast from the past.

I don’t know why Beckham bought that beer pump. He’s never home.

Trafalgar Square’s tree this Christmas.

Trafalgar Square’s tree this Christmas.

I've written a musical called Fish. It's similar to Cats… although Memory's a lot shorter.

I don’t know if I can bothered with Swifty’s wedding. I only got a night do invite. It feels like a lot of effort, and everyone’ll be drunk already…

I just watched the director's cut of The Fly, it features thirty minutes of Jeff Goldblum repeatedly bumping into a closed window.

This just said SPRING WATER earlier.

This just said SPRING WATER earlier.

They played Bryan Adams during the Hydration Break at the Canada game. I hope for England’s they play Chaz and Dave, or The Wurzles.

- Waiter, what's that sauce The Pet Shop Boys are having with their duck and pancakes? - It's er… it's er… it's er… it's hoisin.

This reminds me of when people would visit us to see the baby and I’d get my rare vinyl out.

This reminds me of when people would visit us to see the baby and I’d get my rare vinyl out.

I thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to go to a Monkees' concert in Switzerland, then I saw her face, now I'm in Geneva.

Imagine the look on Lionel Richie's face when he realised that the blind girl was actually looking for Chris Kamara.