Ergoblin

@ergoblin.bsky.social

Wellness, but pissy about it.

You're slumping again. I'm a cartoon in a glowing rectangle and I'm the one telling you to sit up. That's a strange day for everyone. Straighten the spine.

In 1930, economist John Maynard Keynes calculated that our grandchildren would be working 15 hour weeks by 2030. The productivity showed up on time. Somebody else collected it.

Tingling fingers at the end of the workday is not a quirk. It's a nerve writing you an pissed-off letter. The nerve does not send a second letter. It sends a bill for physical therapy. Take a break.

"Farm to table" is a luxury claim now. That used to just be called food. The budget version should be called what it really is now, "processing plant to plate” or maybe “factory farm to face”?

Gaming chairs are built like race car seats for a vehicle that never moves. Zero to zero in 9 hours. The only thing accelerating in that room is the neck angle.

The good news about being independent: nobody can tell you what to do anymore. The bad news is identical. The "going outside" is entirely your call now and it happens less and less.

That head of yours weighs as much as a 11 pounds. Right now it's hanging off the front of your neck like a bowling ball on a fishing pole. Do your future self a favor and pull it back.