Using the magic wand for its intended purpose because the hoes got me stressing and my neck hurts

It’s not fair that everywhere I go with friends, one of them inevitably pulls my shirt up to see if I’m wearing a diaper

This dog has gone 0️⃣ days since leaking

I need bsky to add close friends posts so I can broadcast semi personal information to the real hoes

“Some people need to go to therapy every 2-3 weeks. I need to go to a sweaty basement and get really high every 2-3 weeks. It’s basically the same thing.” -Me to the trauma psychologist that bills $800/hr

Surely there’s been a mistake here????

If you’re a cubs fan, I hope you get gonorrhea Sincerely, the cubs’ neighbors

Absolutely been on the diaper gooner train since I got back to Chicago 😵‍💫🥴

Please, take a seat. Let’s get started

How your email finds me 📸 @puptorx.bsky.social

Update I slept 4pm-4am and it was fabulous

Pup Espy 🔜 MIR, Darklands, 🛌@espy.dog · last wk.

Does my head hurt because I haven’t eaten in 24 hours, because I’m hungover, because I didn’t sleep, or because I did 3 adderall and had sex all night? Selling medical advice and a Red Bull and a Gatorade and maybe some McNuggets but not sold on that last part

Does my head hurt because I haven’t eaten in 24 hours, because I’m hungover, because I didn’t sleep, or because I did 3 adderall and had sex all night? Selling medical advice and a Red Bull and a Gatorade and maybe some McNuggets but not sold on that last part

The next hoe who tries me is just getting punched in the jugular with no warning

Uhhhhhhh @puppskyler.dog it’s not there Also I am back in Chicago hoes

Update we did whatever fucking dumbass 47th chromosome bullshit this is for 40 minutes before taking off

Pup Espy 🔜 MIR, Darklands, 🛌@espy.dog · last wk.

I can go to 4000 meters above sea level in the Swiss alps and have excellent cell coverage as a US customer and yet somehow I’m in the middle of JFK airport and can’t send a GODDAMN TEXT MESSAGE IMAGINE LIVING IN A CIVILIZED COUNTRY

I can go to 4000 meters above sea level in the Swiss alps and have excellent cell coverage as a US customer and yet somehow I’m in the middle of JFK airport and can’t send a GODDAMN TEXT MESSAGE IMAGINE LIVING IN A CIVILIZED COUNTRY

Important update: This blueskeet did not get me stopped at the border even tho I posted it from a plane

Pup Espy 🔜 MIR, Darklands, 🛌@espy.dog · 2w ago

I was born at the right time I love kissing boys and pretending to be a rubber sex dog and flying on jets and sending memes and I look forward to the impending uprising of the American working class

I was born at the right time I love kissing boys and pretending to be a rubber sex dog and flying on jets and sending memes and I look forward to the impending uprising of the American working class

Dogology Research Pub. 1: Apparently I can will cum out of my body now? I was edging and got close, didn’t shoot, but flexed my dick because I was horny It was a flex flex flex BIG shoot. Recent medication changes and a lack of smoke may be to blame for this development Further testing is needed

Feeling at home in Berlin lmao

Fun fact of the day: “BDSM” comes through even if you don’t know German. My poor mother lmao

Seeking literally anyone with any relevant credentials to explain how stopping hydroxychloroquine caused me to be able to speak German again… Despite not taking a German language class in 7 years…

Let me just say: It is not lost on me how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. Yall mfers are pretty fuckin cool not gonna lie.

So I’ve not smoked weed in almost 2 weeks and like….. I don’t miss it that much? But then again there’s a pretty good chance my body had enough THC in it to just provide a tiny little high even though I’ve stopped. But I’m considering just having an arugula free August

I should really plant those free seeds I got unprompted in the mail in my garden

Does anyone else’s family argue recreationally? We don’t actually give a fuck about it but we will just argue for entertainment. I forget families don’t do that usually so I’ll start a recreational argument with someone and they’ll get actually mad and like homie it ain’t that deep

Farting out X-Lube in the Acela bathroom is the gay experience

“A liberal is someone who opposes every war except the current one and supports every civil rights movement except the one going on right now” Words of genius from the internet this morning

As an academic, I am aware that publishing results is very important: Through careful and repeated experimentation, I’ve determined that my piss can at points qualify as a Schedule II, III, and V substance. I’ve been pissing in boys and they’re getting super high lmao So uh who wants a free high?