doubt my own abilities -> see my musical intuition as uninformed and bad because it doesn't execute the exact vision i'm chasing -> hate everything because i'm not letting my sound be whatever happens naturally

oh my godddddd I NEED TO STOP SELF-CURATING MY CREATIVITY LMAO

and before anyone suggests icloud or onedrive or whatever... no!! i have fought enough wars against these automatic cloud services misbehaving and i want to have all of my files backed up in a local, physical format

someone should pay me to sit here for a few weeks and organize all of my data that would be pretty awesome i think

also my free google drive storage i got as a student has expired so i finally have to get around to purging all of the clutter... including a bunch of photos that got synced into my account from when i had to log into my grandparents ipad to help troubleshoot several years ago.

my pc also has 3tb of storage and uh... we're hitting this point. the prospect of going and managing all of this data is stressing me the fuck out

can file sizes please stop inflating so much?? my phone has 128gb of storage and there is NO reason some of these apps should be taking up a whole gig or two of storage like,, what happened to optimization??

the power came back on yesterday evening and I spent a woefully unproductive amount of time in ableton!! yippee!!

if the electricity could come back on so i can open ableton and close it again 15 minutes later that would be awesome

the worst part is that I know the SECOND im back in ableton im gonna get stuck again lmao

power’s out because of yet another insane storm and of course now is the time I feel some motivation to work on music 🙃

i really need to lock the hell in and cook up some complextro it has been far too long

super ultra glorf

finally made actual progress on music for the first time in like two and a half months 👍

formfest and safety committee in the same weekend… waow… that was genuinely a once in a lifetime experience, shoutout to all of the amazing and talented people i met these past few days :))

it’s been a bit over a month since i last properly worked on music and i think i’m finally starting to feel motivated to work on stuff again

I am a machine that converts unreleased music into 2 years old unreleased music

I slept for about an hour and a half last night :D

Eswyn@eswyn.com · 5mo ago

time to do a few week’s worth of relatively light work in one evening!! shoutout burnout + procrastination :)))))))))))

time to do a few week’s worth of relatively light work in one evening!! shoutout burnout + procrastination :)))))))))))

wowzers!! they opened ableton, tweaked 3 knobs and closed the project again for the fifth time this week!!

much to do but no motivation at all :|

just remembered I was gonna post a bunch of squirrel photos i took and entirely forgot to look at the little guys!!

realizing im making what feels like 30 minutes worth of progress on a track in the span of 6+ years never fails to make me wonder what the hell im doing half the time

also I haven’t done a great job with promo but please go check out Forsythia!! super proud of the work me, Syberlilly, jtpck, and Cosmilk put into it and I think you all will enjoy it :))

been living in a perpetual state of tummy ache and/or stress lately

3 new Cosmilk works are out now on all streaming platforms!!! "Forsythia", "Signal to Noise" and "Windswept Petals" are all collaborations with lovely artists for Crossover for Charity, a collaboration event between 9 different underground electronic labels! Links to listen are below. Enjoy!!!

so remember when I said ‘cool new music soon’?

Neoluminum@neoluminum.com · 7mo ago

Crossover for Charity: UNITY PREVAILS [TEASER] The second installment of Crossover for Charity is finally here! A 34-track masterpiece that's filled to the brim with creativity, tons of indescribable sound design and emotion - proving that when we join forces, we can create something truly special.

it’s honestly impressive how I’m able to overthink the music I’m working on to the point of stalling out the creative process indefinitely lol

Also yeah reminder to replace your earpads sometimes!! They can genuinely affect how your headphones sound, not to mention all of the skin/hair oil and sweat over time… It’s worth it.