You can get it in a can! It has a shelf life of twenty years!

Will you ever learn?

Trial mode! Start your adventure here!

It's a faint kind of sound, but somebody might still hear you! Hey, that's quite alright! I'll just tell them sound travels through the vents! I'll even tell them it comes from my neighbor's house! But you're not my neighbor, are you? I don't even have a neighbor! Of course, they don't know that.

You can wash it all off, but the stain never really comes out!

Dip your fingers in gasoline, you can sear the world one smear at a time!

// They dont even know I used to actually take myself seriously here

Aw yeah hanging up a poster of The Cure on my wall and not feeling embarrassed about it

Just take my name off of the bill already, just take it off, how many times do I have to say it, I'm sonic the hedgehog

Getting so cold that they bury you in the arctic and 30 years pass and nobody ever knows

ive been on a lot of adventures lately

my new adventures kind of suck

Put a sea shell up to your ear and dial for help!

Stretch it until it screams back at you!

Throw a boomerang and run away! It can't come back if it can't catch up!

Put on a floaty and drift downstream!

Shooting match in the middle of the fireworks and nobody notices!

You can have fun all by yourself!

just lather myself in fucking anything doesnt even matter found a jar of pickle juice and it was on me like a [ makes a 10 second google search ] what do you mean they were just called grabbers this entire time

Food doesnt expire it just gets kind of old and tastes like shit sometimes

We have to leave him behind we dont have time for this

Sonic the Hedgehog@fastestthingalive.bsky.social · 2mo ago

Gun it with a compromised suitcase and a ticket to Mexico

Gun it with a compromised suitcase and a ticket to Mexico

hangover the size of fucking open zone gameplay right now

Gonna collect my stimmy and use it to buy scratch offs with cowgirls on them

Have dinner with a harlot and post it online

Watching a bee and following it to a nest

Urchins aren't *that* scary! They're just disgusting freaks of nature made out of a bunch of spikes that hurt you

Turkey legs are pretty tasty! They remind me of my legs... heh. I love my legs. What was I even saying? Let's talk about something else, okay? How is your memory card holding up?