FatBoy54

@fatboy54.hogstead.uk

*Blocks blank/postless followers* 47, Gainer, vape monster, bator, beardo, hypnotist, Homo, Trekkie 🖖 DID system 8️⃣🧠 2 socially fronting alters: Chris and Leo (He/Him/We/Us) 18+ NSFW | UK Polyamorous linktr.ee/fatboy54

C remains very unwell for now. But even in the midst of things as he processes, he sometimes surprises me with the most poetic of thoughts. I love you goober, dad's gonna take care of you 🫂❤️

2 weeks into a terrifying new reality and the pain hasn't gotten any better. I miss my goober (Chris), I miss my son, I miss having certainty about tomorrow, I miss the warmth, the held hands, shared precious moments... I find it hard to even hold my shape.

Today is all stress and nausea from the fallout. The dreams are relentless and cruel. Chris remains severely unwell. This timeline is the worst of all possible timelines for this system.

We're considering a legal name change since this new chapter of life came from something catastrophic for the system. A way to mark an ending and hope against hope for a better tomorrow. Will have to discuss with Chris when he's well enough to think about such things.

How does one pick up the pieces of a world shattered? How does one keep going when the part of you that carries the heart is so poisoned by being made to swallow blame that never belonged to him? It's so fucking hard to hold this system together right now...

Tired Chrizzly is eepies and needs another nap. Will see who wakes up afterwards. Will it be me (Chris)? Leo? Simon the emotionless alter? Nico the 7 year old? Zero the traumatised? The unnamed female alter? Someone we haven't met before yet? Chances are it'll be me or Leo 😅

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The Chrizzle™️ has arrived at the forest cabin for holiday. Feeling a bit switchy probably from the big change in environment. I know Leo will be out tonight anyway, might be sooner than later 🤷‍♂️ It's all good, it's for both of us to enjoy, after all 🥰

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The Chrizzle™️ is awake on the first Saturday of his holiday time! Family trip to Thorpe Forest starts on Monday. The next few days is packing and prepping 😁 First order of business today, change all the vape coils 😂 ... Then maybe just be super lazy and deal with packing tomorrow 😂😂😂

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