yes i’ve cheated on my wife (once split an entire safeway cheesecake with a beautiful sears model)
spimsley pete
@fattypinner.bsky.social
ⓘ this user has a line separating good and evil passing not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either -- but right through his heart -- and through all human hearts
jerk a guy off, he cums for a day TEACH a guy to jerk off? well,
Yooberz 🍤@yooberz.postes.club · yesterdayIM JUST TRYING TO PLAY SPIDER SOLITAIRE LEAVE ME ALONE
[on my deathbed] me, whispering: come closer… you: *comes closer* me: closer… you: *comes closer* me: *lets out an extremely disturbing death rattle that’ll stay with you for the rest of your life*
actually in this case it was more of a brain SHART, Your Honor
🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊@professorkiosk.wtf · 2d agobrain farts imply the existence of brain sharts
what becomes of the broken farted who had gas that's now departed
you know how a lot of bands did one disco song (rolling stones - miss you, the clash - magnificent seven, etc) some bands also did one reggae song (10cc - dreadlock holiday, donovan - yellow star) what are some other reggae songs by non-reggae artists?
sometimes i listen to Coldplay’s first record and think about how they might have been a really cool interesting band. the seeds are there
Martha Reeves 🤝 Jon Daker in both cases, at first glance they seem to really suck at singing but it’s actually the accompaniment that sucks and makes them look bad. Jon Daker’s accompanist doesn’t listen. she blows chunks at accompanying singers. Jon looks bad BECAUSE of her
spitting beer into my bass amp like when that one war boy spat gas into the engine
they should make jars that women are capable of opening
funny joke i heard the other day: guy walks into a library, goes up to the desk, says “yeah hi, can i get a roast beef sandwich with a side salad?” lady says “uh sir, this is a library” guy says “oh, sorry! [whispering] can i get a roast beef sandwich with a side salad”
man i wish Bluesky was a hive of far leftism like they say it is
you can send posts from your vape now! - sent from my vape
Winter: yeah… yeaahhh… thats it…oh oh yeah oh unghhhhh UHNGHH Ned Stark: told ya
my wife thought of a good name for an all-woman The Strokes tribute band: The Flicks
whoever named the watermelon: good job. they’re hellah watery
“touchdown” was a sports term first, and only later came to mean the end bit of a flight
