Mrs F is telling me to get rid of some books. 'But I might want to read them again' I'm pretty sure there's a few I never read in the first place

Strange watery stuff is falling from the sky

They missed the word skid after indelible

Just had a great PDR meeting with one of my team where we spent 10 minutes coming up with some old bollocks about business objectives and spent the rest of the time talking about bird watching

At the cinema to watch an unnecessarily long film. Didn't have the traditional pre-film pint as I don't want to be *that* person who gets up for a piss an hour in

Top drawer late evening walk across the fields yesterday. Hares, deer and a massive barn owl perched in a tree

Mrs F: 'Bring the calendar up so I can check some dates' My cat:

Had a busy few weeks so very much looking forward to doing absolutely fuck all this weekend

Back to work

Back home after five days of vagrancy in a field. My festival tan turned out to be mostly dirt

Hello. I've been in a field for three days drunk as a lord watching (not very) popular music. I can thoroughly recommend it

Out of office on for five days lads

No football tonight

Greavsie Jimmy Greaves

ALT: Greavsie Jimmy Greaves

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I've given Mrs F a photo of me to share with the police in case I'm charged with a heinous crime or die in unfortunate circumstances. If I am to gain some form of public notoriety I don't want to look like this chump or be squatting on a riverbank clutching a massive carp

The Guardian@theguardian.com · 2w ago

Man, 28, charged with murder of former MP Ann Widdecombe

Got my end of year uni course results lads. Distinction

They're not wrong. First day of the Burnham premiership, I'm working a three-day week and washing up by hand as the dishwasher's packed up

Thank fuck for that

That's a shame. He seemed like such a lovely chap too #necktattoocunt

Imagine watching this but on ITV instead

Mrs F is celebrating the end of the World Cup, blissfully unaware that the Premier League starts again in a month

This is awful. What's wrong with a half-time meat raffle and a fat bloke trying to win a shed by hitting the crossbar from the halfway line?

At my youngest boy's graduation. For a right roaster he's done alright

I've been putting up with this nonsense since 1982. Getting a bit cheesed off with it now

The search for a new England manager begins

Barons Nightclub

ALT: Barons Nightclub

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Hydration break

Missed the BBC local news tonight and the 'local' angle on the big game. Was it English/Argentinian married couple rivalry? Or Argentinian restaurant owner boarding up windows in case they get put in? Or West Midlands pubs expecting to sell lots of beer?

The Frenchest face ever pulled

I'm fucking starving lads. I'm not expecting any of you to care but I had to tell someone and this Uber driver is not the conversational type

Hydration break