Can't believe the Dept. of Motor Vehicles rejected my Narcissus-themed vanity plates
FunkieNYFL
@funkienyfl.bsky.social
Vintage guitars & amps, cats, carbs and Steelers. Hitchhiked across the US at 15, now I prefer a good nap
If it was two alligators, it would be a better beginning to a joke
‘Never in a million years’: alligator strolls into North Carolina bagel shop
3ft-long reptile was looking for a meal before animal protective services safely removed it from establishment
theguardian.com
It's hard to find a therapist that offers a money back guarantee if you're not completely actualized
When I have problems sleeping, sometimes it helps if I count all the sleep advice videos I've watched on YouTube
Happy Commemoration For The Guy That Never Set Foot On The Mainland Of The Land Mass He Allegedly Discovered Day if you celebrate.
Happy Caturday. Now say the secret word and you can come inside.
I'm having difficulty finding royalty-free images of King Charles and Queen Camilla
As someone who hasn't had fruit or veggies in over a decade and whose body is 60% water, 30% pasta and 10% meatballs, now this shit is getting real
Pasta from Walmart recalled over life-threatening contamination fears
Pasta sold at Walmart is being recalled over fears it may be contaminated with the deadly bacteria listeria monocytogenes.
dailymail.com
Since they're back in fashion, I hope when AI kills me it's with a fistful of quaaludes
Check out my new channel where I strap the most annoying YouTubers to the roof of my car for my morning commute. It's called Driving Under The Influencers.
For the first time in 15 years, Zooey plooped down right next to me in bed in a position that didn't require me to dislocate my shoulder to pet her. Small joys during dark times!
My friends used to make fun of me when I told them I always bring an airline food cart with me on first dates. Guess I got the last laugh
20 years ago this week, I had a personal bathroom attendant for a day. I hope he lived a long, fulfilling frog life doing what he loved most: keeping the sink clean, offering hand towels and supplying tasty mints
Finally! I'm so tired of having to use fruit roll ups when I feel like a burger but more gelatinous
Hey babe does the expanding universe make my ass look fat in these jeans?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death Valley National Park
Sometimes I see something crazy and I think to myself "well NOW I've seen everything" but then I realized I've never seen a dog in a scooter walking a human on a leash
Why are all constipation medications "gentle"? I want something that'll kick the shit out of me
Some welcome gloom after all the depressing sunshine every day
Fuck these fucking fucks. How about you fuckers just stop harming children?
I keep seeing articles that young men and boys are in crisis and I'm certainly sympathetic to that but at least their parents aren't naming them Murray, Elmer or Hyman anymore
This booger did a wellness check on me and woke me up this morning at 4:15am because she's not used to me sleeping over 6 hours instead of my usual 4-5
Never thought I'd see Drudge writing Dem campaign ads, but here we are
