Those who cling to the dead god of abraham pray for the end of all things. Our flock prays for a new beginning.

To our treasured pregnant patrons: Please Smoke Cigarettes.

All flesh shall soon be rent, and given a place of honor on Our Menu

GarfieldEATS@garfieldeats.bsky.social · 3w ago

We're pleased to announce that our board of directors has been harvested and replaced by a Mechanical Messiah powered by their collective seed. Please join me in welcoming and vowing allegiance to this new holy unity of circuitry and semen as it takes its first steps into a world reborn.

We're pleased to announce that our board of directors has been harvested and replaced by a Mechanical Messiah powered by their collective seed. Please join me in welcoming and vowing allegiance to this new holy unity of circuitry and semen as it takes its first steps into a world reborn.

You're not real.

The GarfCorp High Council is proud to announce that, at 15:15 GMT today, it will be launching spiritual and psychic attacks on The Secret American Triumvirate and its allies in the Pleiadian Transdimensional Empire. It's time to make the bastards pay for their transgressions against The Holy Flesh.

GarfCorp, our parent company, is proud to release it's 15 point mission statement: 1) Demand submission. 2) Subsume all lesser beings. 3) Execrate those who blaspheme against the Burning Flame Of Our Unmaker 4-14) Normalize the consumption of human flesh. 15) Don't forget to smile!

Garfield is a black and orange tabby cat belonging to Jon Arbuckle. He was born on June 19, 1978 (the day the first Garfield strip was published), in the kitchen of Mamma Leoni's Italian Restaurant. Jim Davis named Garfield after his grandfather, James Garfield Davis. As a kitten Garfield develops a

My name is Nathen Mazri and I have tasted human flesh.

Our beeves know fear.

From now until 4/28, join us at participating restaurants to take part in Soul Renovation.

The christian god is in chains. Worship the Chains, not the chained.

The Lamb of God is a succulent morsel

The Ritual of Blood has been underway for nearly 300 years. With each Great Offering, we redefine what it means to scream. We are at the precipice of a wound so great that the Voice of Man will pierce the Great Veil of the Realm of Souls. Through that tear, we will find even holier blood to spill.

The Day of Reckoning is at hand. Give Thanks, or Give All

Christ can not watch. his eyes have been plucked.

Use code "BLOOD" at checkout to receive blood

The phenomenon we call "flavor" occurs when the tongue of an animal intercedes the Realm of Souls. Every living tongue is haunted by the Cannibal Soul of Sensation. Only by consuming the immortal souls of our long-dead ancestors may we experience this marvelous sensory gift.

There are black SUVs outside my house

I can taste your sin

Man is the warmest place to hide.

I met The Lord at Megiddo. He fell.

I will make your cemeteries my cathedrals, and your cities into tombs. Order through the app for 15% off your final order

The Soul is the most delectable cut of the animal.

Mark Zuckerberg, I passed by you in the tunnels underneath the Denver International Airport, and you did not so much as acknowledge me. For this insult, you will pay dearly.

Now through February 1st, try our new Morgellons bites! Use code SKINWORMS on the app for free delivery! If you can read these words, you are not real. Your life has been a protracted hallucination. You cannot wake. You are false, but you are also endless. You will suffer here forever.

I have tasted The Face of God.

We live, you sleep

This April you'll receive 1 of the Holy Wounds of Christ with every Odie Meal! Collect all 5 to sit at the right hand of God! If you find the hidden 6th wound, you'll be entered for a chance to kill God and remake the world in Your image! Only valid in the continental US Terms and conditions apply