Ghost’s Artbook and Ramblings

@ghostspeaker.bsky.social

🔞Artist, Writer, & Occasional RPer | 🏳️‍⚧️MTF and proud | 29 years pondering The Orb | MDNI | https://ghostspeaker.carrd.co/

I hate ambiguous introductions. Coming at me with a “hiiiiii”, feigning a kiss, or other noncommittal message irks me to no end. Be direct. Tell me what you want. You came to me for a reason. So say it. I don’t want to pussyfoot around, guessing why you reached out. Tell. Me. What. You. Want.

Why does sexuality have to be so hard??? Like I’m pretty sure my bi’ness at its most basic level is 90% attraction to women, 10% attraction to men. But it gets complicated once you factor in nonbinary people, and varying levels of masculinity or femininity between all 3. Why can’t it be easy smh

An aspect of burnout im really struggling with is something id compare to phantom hunger pangs I want to create again, explore my own ideas, design stuff etc. Im HUNGRY i want to EAT But i sit down to do so and my appetite is completely gone. The idea of chewing and swallowing disgusts me.

I feel weird when I have nights where I’m out of it, like I owe it to everyone to make some post so you know I’m not ghosting you. I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation for why I’m not around to chat, but I still feel so guilty for at least not saying something on my TL. It sucks :<

It is wild to me how much I am doing in my life rn. I’m working on my weight, exercising often, going to dr’s appts, reading up on Wiccan practices, going to kink classes, and meeting up with new friends. And that’s only the surface. I am so proud of myself and genuinely hope I don’t burn out

One of the hardest things for me, is tempering longing. The desire to have someone as my own is so… INCREDIBLY strong, but if I let it control me, I’ll end up with someone that’s incompatible with me. I need to meaningfully guide that longing and stay rational about my goals for relationships.

Every time I take a kink class, I realize I am not doing enough to negotiate in my roleplay scenarios or irl scenarios. Maybe it doesn’t apply as much to online RP, given there is a disconnect with everyone having a character, but setting boundaries and expectations should be paramount to fun play

Was thinking about it, I think I tend to approach my OC’s as being mediums to explore specific kinks, and design them around ideal scenarios or things I’d want to Roleplay, even down to the way I draw them. But I think I also do a bad job explaining them outright. (1/4)