i am not joking when i say i would rather pluck out my eyelashes using an epilator than go anywhere near a man’s balls
if i see that loser asking “is it better to speak or to die” one more time i will start sending him death threats
got myself a coconut scent as a vanilla girl, this must be what peter parker felt like when tony stark took his suit
has anyone seen the odyssey? is the movie better than the percy jackson books?
every time i tell my friend about any man ever her response is “he needs to be shot”
my favourite thing is when someone leave me a note and writes “ella <3” like yeah it is is ella with a heart that’s my full legal government name
i was upset one day and decided to purchase everything in my cart but upset me apparently forgot she was a size L and not an M so now i’m stuck with non refundable purchases
how it feels buying the vinted dress 110 others had favourited just because i had money and i like pissing people off
sitting in bed in clown makeup because i’m too lazy to wash my face
at what point in life do you delete your pinterest wedding board and give up
trust me babe your secrets are safe with me and my nails girl
my favourite part of being a woman is the post sex debrief with your friends when they go “so….. how big”
rewatching he’s just not that into you to refill my hatred for men tank
you start to enjoy your life a little and here comes your period to really kick you in the fucking balls
this man just told me to change my socks cause “they’re not sexy” BRO CAN I LIVE
trying to stay positive when others insist on pissing on my parade
the day i found out white peoples don’t eat cheese and watermelon was the day i lost all my respect for them
had a dilf play with my hair today and tell me i look pretty. men are evil evil creatures.
you know what i will flirt my way in this job it’s not like men don’t get everything handed to them just for having dick and balls so why should i struggle
every time i buy a banana scented product i hope it smells like banana milk and it always without fail ends up smelling like vomit, wet socks, and childhood medicine
a man will tell you he has a flirty personality and whole time it means he’s a whore
somewhere along the lines of my frontal lobe developing i went from “ella never cries” to “ella is a crybaby”