they suspended my twitter on ex voto release day too 😔😔😔😔

FUCK

my twitter account got suspended 😔 probably bc i was rightly calling out and joking about the dumb false flag threats about drones striking california.

two year difference

rosa is a prolific writer and speaks latin without trying. bartosch talks in whimsical rhymes (will write bohemian times number 1 chronicle in a few years). and hans is a profuse reader with an extensive mental catalogue of homoerotic figures. henry likes a bookworm baddie.

on new year’s eve, i think i had a spiritual experience dancing in the middle of the club to cyndi lauper. we are all girls. we just wanna have fun! hence, the club.

my end of year life report before i go out to the clubs is: i’m proud to announce that i gained weight, i haven’t smoked a cigarette in weeks, and i’ve been eating regularly for months now. huzzah.

what the fuck does francois know about MARCO ANTONIO SOLÍS. don’t fucking play with right now, that song induces chemically dangerous levels of depression in me.

used an electric toothbrush for the first time in my life. i’m sad to announce that they actually fucking bang & my teeth are clean in 4k. i’m so PISSED, the brush head replacement pack costs FIFTY dollars, but i can’t go back to manual brushing. should’ve stayed ignorant.

picked up a chunky boy to read while i wait for between two fires to arrive.

sunset :) 🌅

twitter’s getting shittier. i will force myself to post more here.

sometimes i look at henry’s forge and think he could totally cook a delicious pizza in there.

my 2 favorite cutscenes in kcd1 are - when johanka is standing on a ledge while preaching & the light shining behind her makes her look like a saint - henry + gang get ambushed, henry freezes when arrow flies at him & all you hear is him breathing right before arrow hits shield

how do i feel about brabant? well, when i rescued hans from maleshov i gave him my personal tier IV, freshly sharpened, dueling longsword without hesitation. when brabant complained i didn't give him a weapon, i threw him a shitty tier II 32% axe i randomly found on the way.

i know we all joke about how jealous hans & henry get with each other but once you think about how: 1. for hans, henry is his first friend & first love so of COURSE he’d be possessive 2. henry experienced deep loss so he’s going to hold on tight to his loved ones — hans especially

i realize that everyone was drunk but in my opinion the pack did NOT try hard enough to convince henry that fighting erik was a stupid idea. at least katherine was like, "you're being a dumbass!!" and she was right.

i role play henry, i dont play him as a stand-in for myself. so when im robbing innocent people and dishonorably killing the antagonists i shake my head in real life so the fbi agent watching me thru my webcam knows i disagree with his actions.

been reading a lot of kcd fics and these are my findings: lube edition. i have an endless fascination for smut logistics. yes, this is an open discussion, if you wish to share with the class.

when i say that henry would be the guy who does body shots at the bathhouse with a maid named Ludmila i mean that SHE is doing the shots off of HIM. salt on the abs. tequila in the bellybutton and everything.

hans’ hose clipping thru his waist and ankles tells me he has a different body model or something but i like to think that he just puts on old, ripped sweatpants for bed. or he’s in his punk rock, ripped tights era.

love kcd1 for its american accent jump scares

what would my job be if i lived in medieval times? im so glad you asked. i'd be a 62 year old rich widow's scandalously young boytoy lover who wears her late lord husband's rings and is suspected of aiding in his mysterious death, which was officially declared a hunting accident.

you have to have hella arm and back strength to be an archer. think about the mechanisms invented to wind up a crossbow just to match a skilled archer with a bow. Hans is described as being Zizka's *best* archer. He's not this delicate guy. he can FUCK you UP given the chance.

Hans being frequently described as a fantastic archer. yet, Henry is able to beat him in kcd1 so i like to think his mere presence discombobulated hans enough that his years of training totally failed him for that moment and that's truly where his obsession with henry grew

okay but think about this: henry forges hans a sword with "AUDENTES FORTUNA IUVAT" on the blade to match the latin on his own sword. and then when he presents the sword as a gift it feels like a marriage proposal.

people arguing about who’s the bottom in hansry. guys i appreciate the enthusiasm but thats a tier 4 advanced level of gay sex. those boys were NOT having anal their first time. or their tenth time tbh. ‘course that’s for realism’s sake. in fanfic anything goes.

i know samuel is the tavern owner, not the actual guy who serves drinks but i like to think that his diabolical eyebrow isn’t genetic but simply the way his face has formed after years of dealing with drunk patrons. the customer service facial trauma.

love musa’s little lore drops. like what do you mean you had political assassins coming after your family and that’s the least interesting about you lmfao???

my favorite piece of kcd Politics Plot writing is during Exodus when henry asks john what sort of documents he has in sam’s basement and john says he has Blackmail and Connections papers. S-tier writing right there.