Just looked it up in the Guinness world records book, and apparently the person who’s received the most party invitations is somebody called Orbie Square
Grom Reaper
@gromreaper.bsky.social
I generally have no idea what I’m doing Profile pic by @ladycelery.bsky.social
If I ever get an invisibility cloak, first thing I’m gonna do is go up to random intercoms and say “Dick Laurent is dead”
If they can sense us, how come we need to fill out the form?
Oh was there a censusball happening tonight? I was too busy reading books to notice 😒
You just know that everyone at Cottee's overuses the hell out of "You are cordially invited..."
Oooh, so THIS is what they meant by “the beast with two backs”
I see you drivin' 'round town with the girl I love And I'm like, “What the..?”
You’re meant to be a newspaper. Why do you have 340 goddamn buddies who want to track me just for doing your silly little word game?
There’s only two amounts of spaghetti you can cook: too much, or not enough. Anyone who claims they can cook the right amount is a false prophet and should be put to death immediately
(Kung Fu Fighting playing on the speakers overhead) Loudly, to the nearest Asian person: “I wasn’t”
They call him Weird because he is a good guy in a bad world
‘Weird Al’ Yankovic Turned Down Million-Dollar Offer to Perform in Saudi Arabia: ‘I Don’t Need to Take Any Money if It Makes Me Feel Icky’
'Weird Al' Yankovic revealed he turned down a seven-figure offer to perform at the state-sponsored Riyadh Comedy Festival in Saudi Arabia.
variety.com
When I was young and believed in it because I went to a catholic school, I came up with a way to min-max my prayers by saying “please bless everything good everywhere”
It’s my birthday today. I made it to 40 with a wife, two kids, a house, a job, all of my hair and most of its colour. The world is a really bad place overall, but you’ve gotta look at the things close to you and find the good in what you have
They killed Sam Neill because he was a good actor and an actual nice person who liked his animals. I hope he knew how beloved he was
Here’s the thing about using all that ai nonsense to make “art”. It’s that it’s not, by definition, creating anything. You are not creative because you asked a computer to do it for you. The reason people hate those pictures and those stories is because nobody made it and it looks like nothing.
There’s an odd amount of odd numbers, which is fine. But there’s also an odd amount of even numbers too, which is offensive
They joke and say “A good pun is its own reword” but they’re wrong. That’s a goddamn anagram, you stupid asshole
They’ve done studies and it’s actually normal to only clean the shower a couple times a year. Nothing clinically wrong with you at all. Turns out that it’s the people who clean their showers frequently who are the ones with brain problems