ADRIC has just come up, smiling. "You know, one of the things I most admire about you is your love of nature...." "Oh yes me DO love nature, it true.." "Well, I think that's very commendable...especially considering what nature's done to you...." He pats my hand and walks off.

Apparently, when me was a baby, me had to be rushed to hospital to have a lump removed off my head! But when they sent me home, mum became convinced they'd sent the LUMP back instead of me, by mistake! Even still today she tries to rub spot cream on me when me visit!🙈

Apparently, when me was a baby, me had to be rushed to hospital to have a lump removed off my head! But when they sent me home, mum became convinced they'd sent the LUMP back instead of me, by mistake! Even still today she tries to rub spot cream on me when me visit!🙈

Davros is surveying my makeover of the War Bunker. "Well Gruntleigh, I definitely like the Battle Console, and the Surveillance Monitors along that wall...but maybe lose the 'LIVE LAUGH LOVE' flashing neon sign. It's not really giving off the DEATH STAR vibes I was going for."

Davros is surveying my makeover of the War Bunker. "Well Gruntleigh, I definitely like the Battle Console, and the Surveillance Monitors along that wall...but maybe lose the 'LIVE LAUGH LOVE' flashing neon sign. It's not really giving off the DEATH STAR vibes I was going for."

ADRIC has just sidled up. "Could I interest you in acquiring some LAND?" he enquire. "Ooh, that sound nice!" me reply. "Well, how'd you fancy having a couple of 'ACHERS' ???" him laugh, kicking me violently in the nads. "M...me not get it..?" me croak before losing consciousness.

🤭🤭🤭

Brendan Jones@retrobrendo.bsky.social · 3d ago

They both kind of fit the brief, but I'm talking specifically about Naomi.

ADRIC has just sidled up. "Could I interest you in acquiring some LAND?" he enquire. "Ooh, that sound nice!" me reply. "Well, how'd you fancy having a couple of 'ACHERS' ???" him laugh, kicking me violently in the nads. "M...me not get it..?" me croak before losing consciousness.

Probably for same reason only us OGRONS survived evolution on our planet. We PUNCHED all the other species in the face! 😁

Probably for same reason only us OGRONS survived evolution on our planet. We PUNCHED all the other species in the face! 😁

Originally, Davros designed the Daleks to be much BIGGER, but he sent all the measurements to his workshop in INCHES when he should have used CENTIMETRES! Actually it just as well as otherwise the Dalek Mutant drivers wouldnt have been able to reach the pedals with their feet.🤷‍♂️

Originally, Davros designed the Daleks to be much BIGGER, but he sent all the measurements to his workshop in INCHES when he should have used CENTIMETRES! Actually it just as well as otherwise the Dalek Mutant drivers wouldnt have been able to reach the pedals with their feet.🤷‍♂️

3rd DR: Do you recognise this photo, Gruntleigh..? ME: Yes! It my GRAMPY! It ONLY PHOTO me got of him! 3rd DR: I expect you have many HAPPY MEMORIES of him don't you, old chap? ME: Yes *SNIFF* me do... 3rd DR: So you wont be needing this STUPID PHOTO then! HE TEARS IT UP, LAUGHING.

3rd DR: Do you recognise this photo, Gruntleigh..? ME: Yes! It my GRAMPY! It ONLY PHOTO me got of him! 3rd DR: I expect you have many HAPPY MEMORIES of him don't you, old chap? ME: Yes *SNIFF* me do... 3rd DR: So you wont be needing this STUPID PHOTO then! HE TEARS IT UP, LAUGHING.

Me just being served in local off-licence by a spotty teenage Ogron: STO: Sorry, have you got I.D.? Me: (chuckling) Well it a few years since me been asked for I.D... STO: It just that we got a special deal on for OLD-AGE PENSIONERS at moment if you got your pension book... Me:😡

Me just being served in local off-licence by a spotty teenage Ogron: STO: Sorry, have you got I.D.? Me: (chuckling) Well it a few years since me been asked for I.D... STO: It just that we got a special deal on for OLD-AGE PENSIONERS at moment if you got your pension book... Me:😡

People have been asking about my BABY YEARS! Well, MUM decided that she wanted one of those TRENDY POOL BIRTHS, but after me popped out, she said she not like the look of me and went home, leaving me FLOATING ABOUT! Me spent my first year being brought up by a family of GOLDFISH!

True! Many times, after he has ordered my extermination for some reason, me have LEAPT on a screaming DAVROS and smothered him in KISSES untill Nyder able to pull me off! 😘 By which time Davros has usually forgotten why he was angry with me in the first place! 😁

People have been asking about my BABY YEARS! Well, MUM decided that she wanted one of those TRENDY POOL BIRTHS, but after me popped out, she said she not like the look of me and went home, leaving me FLOATING ABOUT! Me spent my first year being brought up by a family of GOLDFISH!

True! Many times, after he has ordered my extermination for some reason, me have LEAPT on a screaming DAVROS and smothered him in KISSES untill Nyder able to pull me off! 😘 By which time Davros has usually forgotten why he was angry with me in the first place! 😁

DAVROS has decided that him want to be a KING! "Get me a CLOAK made, Gruntleigh," him order "And make sure it's edged in ERMINE!" Unfortunately me MISHEAR and think him said VERMIN, so stitch 20 LIVE RATS into the LINING! Me have to cover my ears to drown out the ROYAL SCREAMS!🙉

DAVROS has decided that him want to be a KING! "Get me a CLOAK made, Gruntleigh," him order "And make sure it's edged in ERMINE!" Unfortunately me MISHEAR and think him said VERMIN, so stitch 20 LIVE RATS into the LINING! Me have to cover my ears to drown out the ROYAL SCREAMS!🙉

Recently me noticed that me not seen OGRON ZEBEDIAH around. Him is very OLD and due his PENSION. But NYDER just told me that a NICE MAN and LADY came last week and took him away to live with them on a FARM! Hopefully it very QUIET for him. Nyder just said "Yes, very very quiet."

Recently me noticed that me not seen OGRON ZEBEDIAH around. Him is very OLD and due his PENSION. But NYDER just told me that a NICE MAN and LADY came last week and took him away to live with them on a FARM! Hopefully it very QUIET for him. Nyder just said "Yes, very very quiet."

Well that explain where Ogron Neville went. Him was only supposed to set his Time Dial to go back to last week and get Lottery Tickets, but must have overshot.😬

Alpha Centauri arrives to give a talk on ALIEN DIVERSITY and INCLUSION, leaving Davros terrified! "As you know Gruntleigh, I'm all for diversity and inclusion, but what if I make a MISTAKE when naming the ΛNβSΩ∑ΦMX₇RK Community...!?" "Then you get CANCELLED!" me reply wisely.😁

Alpha Centauri arrives to give a talk on ALIEN DIVERSITY and INCLUSION, leaving Davros terrified! "As you know Gruntleigh, I'm all for diversity and inclusion, but what if I make a MISTAKE when naming the ΛNβSΩ∑ΦMX₇RK Community...!?" "Then you get CANCELLED!" me reply wisely.😁

Well that explain where Ogron Neville went. Him was only supposed to set his Time Dial to go back to last week and get Lottery Tickets, but must have overshot.😬