contrary to popular belief there are some things i actually do think are reprehensible and immoral to depict in fanfiction such as many verbal affirmations of consent

desperately need beleriand to have 18th century newspapers where they’re publishing wild shit about each other and public figures with the thinnest censoring imaginable

there’s never enough forcing a bottom to top…..guy who wants to be fucked so bad he’s blind in one eye being made to top. making him top as a denial of sorts….anyway,

yes there is a certain catholicism to middle earth but tolkien did not make it actual catholicism because he subconsciously knew that if fingolfin coexisted with the bible one of his formative sexual experiences would be getting inappropriately hard while reading genesis 4

I think it's really hot if feanor is vaguely uncomfortable over how hard he is from nerdanel doing the pegging, due to terminal pride desease and elf preg-obsessed patriarchy. like he's hard and that's a little shocking to him and he's about to flee at every second? you know. I'm being a sicko here

the unfortunate thing about pegging having been the default pretend progressive fandom thing people said about any het for years is that sometimes she does fuck that man’s ass. sometimes it is true but if i tell you that i have to put in work to let you know i said this with my dick hard for real

#nsfw #richphil Differing views on sodomy

girl get in we’re doing mean shit to the elf like forcing him to come and then punishing him for doing that without permission. just go ahead and call out of work tomorrow we need to spend all day beating the shit out of him

fandom person posting their submissive fantasies: i want him to tie me to a radiator and beat me unconscious before he fucks me fandom person posting their dominant fantasies: i would like to maybe spank him a little but lightly and if he consented to it beforehand and also enjoyed it and and and

of course i’ve been known to enjoy your standard heat fic but the trouble is always that if you tell me this character is going to become so psychotically horny that they will be in excruciating physical agony until they are fucked, i feel like the hottest thing you can do now is not fuck them

sometimes i think about fëanor and fingolfin and finarfin

for me if maeglin/turgon happens it is less of a daddy thing and more maeglin being so nauseous at someone trying to be a father figure to him that he needs to render the relationship sexual to make it stop. he wants turgon to fuck him so that he won’t see him as a father (this does not work)

Legolas and Gimli - infatuated [ #art | #lotr ]

[elderly and in my rocking chair] well, my boy, i’m old enough to remember all the way back when gooning referred to a specific fetish instead of just generally being horny to anything

i knew early on that the whole idea of transmasculinity or butchness where you’re like only the good and healthy parts of masculine wasn’t for me because i’m emotionally closed off, don’t want to commit, and blind horny all the time. don’t leave your stupid boyfriend for me, i’m worse

hands down the funniest and most absolutely unnecessary intuition i have is that when people online talk about porn i can almost always tell whether they have actually seen a lot of porn or if they just have ideas of it by osmosis. this is not a useful or necessary skill

asking why a man in any kind of gay erotic image would have socks on here is like seeing a pin up girl and going “why does she still have her stockings and garters on, though?”

doing things to him that are concerning to the Convocation

death's call

“what if there’s some perv out there that’s getting off on this innocent video” is not a fearmonger that works on me because i’m the perv. i’ve stumbled across dumb ass #funny videos before where some guy gets hit in the balls or whatever that made me physically go 😳 because he made a pain sound

i’m just saying that every time dick size has ever been a topic of conversation online everyone is spending way too much time on length and not nearly enough about how thick it is

you know how when a dog starts humping something and everyone sort of scolds but finds this funny and harmless because it’s a dog that can’t help itself. that’s the horniest part of puppy play to me. the amused condescension about the puppy getting too excited

a key aspect of the aretyaoi is that younger aredhel is suffering from that repressed transmasculine insanity where roughness and dick that kind of hurts a little makes you feel like a man. and celegorm is perfect for that

and you know what, fine. i’ll say it. a young adult hobbit apparently being easily confused for a nine or ten year old child to humans does lend a certain freakery to hobbit/human

melian the maia —— for @meladriel.bsky.social ✧

the horniest depiction of any sadist is always when the writer understands that allowing yourself to beat the shit out of someone like you really want to is also a loss of control in a certain way

at a certain point being wrong about fictional sexual dynamics becomes a little impressive to me like it’s rare but occasionally in fandom you encounter someone who appears to be wrong about like every ship they’ve ever crossed paths with and that is fascinating in a certain way. an incredible mind

historical setting erotica is funnier if you interpret every implausibly cut dick to mean that the subject is jewish. you’ll just be seeing some medieval knight about to pound his squire thinking well mazel tov to this man

Day 10 - Oral sex #kinktober

historical erotica is often underestimating the degree to which the average straight man in the period they’re writing about would have been absolutely diabolically horny about bush